Can't be Anyone Else
by TooWeirdTooFunction
Summary: She had dreaded this day since junior high. She could still hear their resounding laughter and their cold merciless eyes. This is the story of Haley James. She just wants to fit in - but a certain meddling best friend *coughBrookecough* and Scott-brother seem to mess things up. A drama/comedy and a little romance later on ;)
1. Episode 1, part 1: Can't be Anyone Else

**Can't Be Anyone Else**

**S01E01**

**Episode: Can't be anyone else**

**Part 1**

**How the hell did we wind up like this?  
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed  
And try turn the tables**

Haley looked in the mirror for the ten thousandth time. Each time she looked she got more critical: Her nose was too big, her hair was a mess "And why do I have a huge sit on my nose?", she whined to herself. She felt like crying, and that made her feel even more pathetic.

She had hoped this day would never come. She had dreaded this day since junior high. She could still hear their resounding laughter and their cold merciless eyes.

Haley looked at the clock; it was almost time to go. Her heart started to beat even faster than it already did. She was so nervous, so apprehensive: She hoped for the best - yet feared the worst.

She saw to sweaty spots under her armpits. "That's just great", she said sarcastically. "Now I can drown myself in my own sweat, and avoid this day!"

She tried to find another t-shirt but her room was a mess with cloth everywhere. She had spent the entire week searching for the perfect outfit and the rest of her cloth she had just laid in a nice pile… all over the floor!

"HALIMAH IT'S TIME TO GO!", her mother yelled from downstairs.

"I'M COMING!, she yelled back, while silently cringing at her mother's use of her maiden name. She quickly grabbed a deodorant and sprayed a little extra under her arms

"…and I smell like a hoer now", she mumbled to herself and sighed, but then started laughing about the whole situation - could this day get any worse?

Haley grabbed a sweater and put it on, to cover up her armpits, glanced one last time in the mirror before running downstairs.

"Good morning mom…. good morning Brooke…", Haley greeted as she was walking past them.

"WAIT", she backed up to see if her eyes had been mistaking. "Brooke?" she asked really confused and happy. Brooke was her best friend in the whole entire world, not to mention the only one.

"Oh my God, Brooke", Haley ran over and hugged her with a big smile on her face.

"Hey Hales", Brooke hugged back, looking all perky like she always was. Her emerald eyes shone beautifully. How could anyone look so good so early in the morning?! It was really unfair. She was having a hard time with even opening her eyes at this point. Maybe that's why it took her so long to realize that something was of.

"WAIT! Brooke?" Haley asked yet again in disbelieve. She wasn't supposed to be here?!

"Yes, that's my name. I think we've established that already", Brooke answered teasingly

"What are you doing here?" she asked questioningly.

"We're walking each other to school", Brooke stated and added a little "DUH" afterwards, while grinning. As if that innocent grin and those dimples could get her out of this.

"Brooke Penelope Davis, we had an agreement", Haley crossed her arms and tapped her food slightly. "We are not going together; I've said that like a thousand times!"

"Oh please, like I ever listen to what you say", Brooke answered jokingly.

_Well that's true_, Haley admittedly sighed to herself.

Typical Brooke. She doesn't care what anybody thinks of her… _but I do. I'm not taking her down with me this time. _

Usually Haley didn't care what people thought of her either; she knew who she was. Sure it could hurt her but she always got over it…. But she cared about her friends more than anything else and she wanted to protect _Brooke _from getting hurt.

Haley gave her "the look", and Brooke responded immediately:

"Don't you give me that look girl", she said while trying to be all ghetto, snapping her finger at Haley.

Haley couldn't help but smile a little.

"We're going", she said, and added "together", as she saw Haley was about to interrupt her. Brooke looked at Haley very strictly, yet stubbornly like a little child, and Haley knew that there was nothing she could do to change her mind.

"Fine" Haley agreed begrudgingly.

Brooke smiled victoriously, and took Haley's rucksack and threw it to her.

"Great. Glad that's settled", she said while putting on her own rucksack.

Haley shook her head and looked down… "bye mom", she said and kissed her cheek.

Then they both were off to school, and doing it old school: By walking ; )

**_~…~_**

"You know you sound reallyyy_… white,_ when you try to be all ghetto", Haley said, referring to their previous conversation.

"uhmmm, maybe that's because I am white!", she said while laughing a little.

"..and by the way, look who's talking", Brooke continued while looking at Haley.

"I mean, come on Haley. All of that black cloth makes you look really pale."

Haley looked down at her cloth and noticed that it was all black. She had spent a lot of time picking out the perfect outfit, and had settled on what she was most comfortable in… and mostly that was black: Black skinny jeans, with a lose-fitted nirvana t-shirt and sweatshirt, and last but not least her signature red sneakers.

Haley just shrugged it off. What else was she supposed to wear? A tutu and a princess tiara? _Don't think so_, she shuddered at the thought.

Leafs fell around them as it walked. It almost felt like rain, as they steadily fell from the sky.

Was it autumn already? Had things changed so fast?

Brown, orange, red, yellow: The color pallet of autumn was defiantly painting the town.

They just walked the walk, and talked the talk on the way to school. It was nice. She was actually glad Brooke at disobeyed her. Usually it just meant trouble when she did – but today it was well needed brake. They could just goof around and get a laughing fit about nothing in particular.

And that's exactly what they did!

They just couldn't stop laughing, and when they finally started to calm down, Haley, who could barely breathe at this point, stammered: "Auw, my stomach hurts".

Brooke looked at her really disgusted: "Eww, you stay away from me, and go use a bathroom or something!"

Haley looked at her confused for a split second before she realized what Brooke meant. And then burst out laughing some more. Brookes just looked at her weirdly, while keeping a safe distance.

"My stomach hurts…." Haley tried to explain but got interrupted by Brooke:

"NO, no I don't want to hear it.. LA LA LA LAA", she sang/shouted really loudly trying not to listen to what Haley was saying.

"…from laughing so much", Haley said, finally finishing her sentence and looked at Brooke who had gotten really quite. Haley tried to hold back her laughter.

Brooke's head was really red, and she was kind of embarrassed, as she mumbled a small _oh_.

Then they both looked at each other and started laughing hysterically.. AGAIN..

"Auww… now _my_ stomach hurts", Brooke giggled.

"NO NO, DON'T TELL ME", Haley said while mimicking and mocking Brooke…

Brooke tried to cover Haley's mouth and was really embarrassed - Especially because Haley was practically shouting.

"You have some gross and _funky_ thoughts Brooke Davis", Haley said while laughing and playfully shoving Brooke's hands away from her face.

Brooke looked at her phone to see what time it was.

"Oh, we better hurry", she said and yanked Haley's arm to quicken their pace.

"We don't want to be late for your first day of school".

She padded Haley on the head as if she was a little child.

Haley removed Brooke's hand and ran her fingers through her dark brown hair, trying to straighten it again.

"You know, I have been to school before", Haley reminded Brooke because she was looking at her as if she was a proud mother, sending her first child of to school. Haley shook her head a little and smiled at Brookes antics.

Then Brooke's expression changed as she remembered the time they _used_ to go to school together and she looked at Haley with an almost nostalgic expression.

"What?" Haley asked suspiciously when she saw Brooke smiling weirdly at her.

"It's just….. I've missed this: hanging out together at school". She gave Haley a sideways hug.

"Yearh 'cause we never spent any time together before this!", Haley answered sarcastically.

Haley practically lived at Brooke's place, and they spent all their time together. Especially lately because Haley's mom had gotten a new job which took up most of her time.

Brooke faked a laugh: "Ha,HA… You know what I mean Haley. Now we go to school together again. It will be _just_ like old times!" Brooke squealed.

Haley's smile faded, and her eyes turned blank as the memories infected her thoughts.


	2. Episode 1, Part 2: Can't be anyone Else

**S01E01**

**Episode: Can't be anyone else**

**Part 2**

**Louder, louder  
The voices in my head  
Whispers taunting - All the things you said  
Faster the days go by and I'm still stuck in this moment**

_"It will be __just__ like old times!" Brooke squealed._

_Haley's smile faded, and her eyes turned blank as the memories infected her thoughts. _

She looked down and slightly shook her head trying to remove the ghostly images from her past which now danced before her very eyes.

She tried to repress these memories of the past which had been haunting her.

Then she mumbled:

"God I hope not", she couldn't bare it if it would turn out to be like before.

Brooke looked a bit confused, before realizing what Haley was talking about, and then her smile faded as well.

"That was a long time ago Haley. People… change. You've changed. They have evolved since then. Besides they properly won't even remember you", she said and tried to sound encouraging while giving her an optimistic smile.

"Yearh… Hopefully…" Haley said, and smiled a little. Then she sighed, she knew what she had to do. She hesitated a little and fumbled with her fingers before saying:

"…But just in case, I think it's better if you keep your distance from me"

"What?", Brooke questioned really confused. "You don't wanna be seen with me?" She sounded really hurt.

"No,No.. it's not that… you're my best friend! You know that" Haley amended immediately.

Brooke had it all wrong; it was the other way around.

"Don't you remember how it used to be? I don't want history to repeat itself, and I am most definitely not letting you go down with me this time."

Haley did love Brooke. She was the most loyal and amazing friend she could ever have asked for, but Brooke had never really understood how much Haley had been hurting. But the fact that Brooke didn't understand was mostly Haley's own fault. She hadn't explained it to her: How she still had nightmares, how afraid she was to trust people and let others in. She had scares on her soul, which she feared would never heal.

Brooke sighed and looked a little hurt.

"You really think I care about that?"

"I _know_ you don't care about that", she looked at Brooke and smiled sweetly. She didn't understand: That was why she had to do this to protect her.

"That's exactly why _I _am making this decision.."

"But…" Brooke tried to reason with Haley, but got interrupted

"No, buts! Don't you see? I'm doing this to protect you".

"…and that's sweet of you Haley… but who is going to protect _you_, huh?".

Concern was evident in Brooke's eyes, but Haley knew it was the right decision. She had heard Brooke talk about how much better it had gotten in school and all the new friends she had made. How selfish would it be of her to jeopardize that? What kind of a friend would that make her?- she had this discussion with herself in her head, and this made her even more certain of her decision.

"I can take care of myself", she said and sounded a little more stern than intended. Haley sighed.

"I'm sorry… just… Don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine".

Brooke sighed as well and wasn't entirely convinced, but decided to let it go for now.

Brooke looked down to the ground while they were still walking and you could tell that she was thinking and evaluating the situation to make the right decision.

"Okay..", she finally said. "I will agree to _not_ be seen with you in school…"

Haley smiled and was extremely relieved.

"but…", Brooke added.

"Oh no", Haley exclaimed while holding both her hands up to her face. She should have seen this coming: It was Brooke after all.

"You know what Brooke? I very much dislike buts. I mean, you never know what to expect: They come in all shapes and sizes, you never know what's going to come out of them (A/N ha ha, was that going too far?), and frankly I do not trust buts one bit", Haley was rambling and pointing her finger, before Brooke interrupted.

"Hales, focus please", she said and tried to sound very pedagogical.

"Sorry", Haley murmured fast and let her arms dangle loosely again. She often rambled. She saw it as a disease without a cure!

"As I was saying", she cleared her throat and rewinded their conversation: "But… This will only be a temporary solution, a trial basis you could call it, until we see how it goes in school, okay?"

Haley contemplated the offer briefly before agreeing "Okay. That sounds fair".

"Okay, now pinkie-swear", Brooke said and looked deadly serious. She held her pinkie out towards Haley.

Haley stared at the finger with her head slightly tilted to the side and a crinkly nose, then she looked up at Brooke in disbelieve.

"Aren't we getting a little too old for the pinkie swear?" she said with her eyebrows raised .

"WHAT?" Brooke said, trying to sound offended "what are you talking about? It is the holiest of all oaths. How dare you offend the holy oath?" She sounded like a priest who was giving a lecture.

"Sorry I asked", Haley mumbled and smiled a little to herself, as she reached for Brooke's pinkie with her own.

"Okay.." Brooke cleared her throat and made her voice sound deep, almost like a guy's voice.

"Do you Halimah Bob James promise to, OH WAIT, SHoot", she said really abruptly and loudly while removing her pinkie from Haley's, her voice had gone back to her girlie voice.

"What?", Haley asked, startled by her sudden outburst.

"Does that mean we can't hang out _after_ school? 'Cause that is SO not okay with me"

Haley grinned. "Of course not. Only when we're _in_ school".

"Oh, okay cool", Brooke then jumped back into the character and the deep voice:

"Do you Haley James promise to maintain this agreement as long as we both shall live?"

"I do", Haley promised while trying to keep a straight face.

"Okay good"

"Wait!" Haley said confused "That's it?", a bit surprised by the sudden ending.

"Well yearh… unless you want us to do the whole ´spit and swear´-thing we used too?", Brooke asked and it almost sounded like a threat.

"No, No! That's okay", Haley said immediately.

Brooke smiled at Haley's petrified expression, and they were now very close to the school.

**_~…~_**


	3. Episode 2: Lost Souls

**Can't Be Anyone Else**

**S01E02**

**Episode: Lost souls**

**In a little while,  
People and places will be so far behind,  
Out of my body,  
In a little while,  
I will play aces, And raise my glass in an act of defiance.**

Brooke had made Haley forget for a little while, how nervous she had been about going back to school but now it all came rushing back to her.

The building was much larger than she remembered and it looked more like a prison to her than a school.

Outside Haley could see all the beautiful people who attended the school. They all looked so colorful, smiley, and laughed as if they were taken out of a fairy tale! Well that, or they were on antidepressants! The last option was most likely…

Her heart pounded so fast, she was afraid it was going to pop out!

It was time to face her demons.

**Until then, I'll scream until I'm hollow,  
I'll carve it in my skin, save it for tomorrow.**

Brooke gave her hand a light squeeze, and Haley gave her a nod: It was time for them to part.

Brooke hesitated for a split second, but she knew that she had made a promise.

She looked at Haley one last time, and Haley gave her the most reassuring smile she could muster, and in that way said, without words, that it was okay for her to go.

Brooke sighed and then left.

Haley saw her walking towards one of the groups of beautiful people, and saw them hugging her, welcoming her. Brooke belonged, but Haley had never felt more out of place.

Haley tried not to look at any of the other students as she was walking up the path past all the different groups. She disliked it when people stared back at her.

She felt like she was walking in slow-motion. She could feel her heart pounding against her chest, her footsteps echoing as they hit the concrete.

**I'm gonna bang my drum,  
I'm gonna make it come,  
I'm gonna bring it on,  
It's a heart attack,  
I'm bringing it back to me.**

Her legs felt like jelly: Like they could cave in at any time. In her mind she commanded them to withhold the pressure! And it must have worked, 'cause slowly, but steadily, she approached the giant main entrance.

_Just breath_, she reminded herself as she reached for the door knob. She breathed out slowly while opening the door.

The door was heavier than anticipated and it creaked. The creaking sound reminded her of an old scary mansion: The ones which were haunted with ghosts, or "lost souls" as Haley would call them.

_There must be many lost souls in here as well_, Haley thought to herself, as she looked at all the students who were trying to keep up their appearances, they were trying to hide their flaws - they wanted to make it look like they had their life under control.

They were trying to forget that feeling of being completely and utterly lost, which they carried around constantly.

**In a little while,  
It will be perfect, I'll have a perfect style,  
Soon you will see,  
Not a cloud in sight,  
No Cumulus Nimbus,  
Just ninety three percent degrees humidity.**

As the door opened slightly, the noise from the chattering people grew louder, and as she opened the door even further the loud chatter increased as well. It was almost unbearable for her, she felt like her eardrums were going to pop out and she just wanted to go back to her quiet and safe home.

The noise send her body out of her "slow-motion-moment" and everything started to go by so fast: Everything was moving, so many people in motion: Walking, running, laughing, yelling.

She walked over the threshold, but her foot then hit the threshold as she was trying to cross it - This made her stumble, almost fall, through the door.

She managed to find her balance again and then looked down her feet:

"Damn you!", Haley said cussing at them quietly

"I thought we had an agreement: No tripping or falling! We were doing so well!"

She moved her head up quickly to see if anyone had noticed. She could feel her cheeks turning red and warm as the blood rushed to her cheeks, and she blushed in embarrassment.

She glanced around the hallway but no one seemed to have noticed.

_Wait, did I just have a conversation with my feet?_, she thought to herself while her shoulders dropped and she looked puzzled for a moment.

She shook her head slightly and grinned a little at her own weirdness (A/N is that even a word? If it is, it also suits me very well ; )

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING", someone shrieked in a high pitched voice while shoving Haley away from the entrance, to make her way through.

"Sorry", Haley mumbled startled and looked down ashamed, as she rubbed the arm the girl hit. Haley pulled up her bag a little, because she almost dropped it from the hard blow. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes; this was her first day, and already people hated her.

_Why does school always have this effect on me?_

It wasn't at all like her to cry and be so insecure. She thought she had grown out of it, but going back to school unfortunately seemed to bring back all the insecurities she had been carrying from her past.

She took a deep breath: The air was heavy, from all of the students who were in the hallway. It smelled like a mixture of a clinic; you know, sort of an inhuman smell, and it also smelled like dirty socks! It was a really weird mix…

Somehow taking the deep breath helped her calm down. Probably because the smell of socks were kind of toxic and it made her a bit woozy!

She gave herself a pep talk, reminding herself of how strong she really was, how much she had been through and how far she had come. It wasn't like her to give up, and she wasn't going to start now.

Haley looked up to see a girl with bouncing blonde hair disappear around the corner of the hallway: This was the girl who shoved her.

Haley waited until the blond girl had completely disappeared, until she began to move forward.

Her head was bend down, looking to the ground like she used to do when she was younger and went to school. She could feel herself slipping into the old role.

She tried to fight this feeling which was overwhelming her. It was like the weight of the entire school was upon her, forcing her down into this little box of what she was expected to be.

Then she became stubborn. She looked around and saw all these strangers who didn't know her, and probably never would, and thought to herself that they weren't going to control her. Sure she would admit that they still had some sort of unexplainable power over her that she couldn't change, but this time she was going to take _some_ of that power back.

_If I just keep it low key, then no one notice me, then I can be myself, without them controlling and judging me_, she thought to herself.

In her mind it made perfect sense: By them not knowing who she was she would have the time to be herself instead of being forced into some role _they _would give her.

What she failed to see was that she in fact limited herself, because she was afraid of being limited!

It wouldn't make sense to many, but apparently it did to her.

RRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGG GGGGGG

"Arghh", she shouted a little too loudly, while holding her hand above heart. It was beating so fast. That stupid bell really scared to crap out of her! The bell sounded more like a fire alarm or something, that had went off…

Naïve as she was, Haley actually _did _start to look around for a fireman who would tell everybody to move to the nearest exit, but all she met was some weird looks from people who had heard her scream…

She laughed nervously as she meet their looks…

"Gotta go!", she then said really fast and began to walk swiftly towards her first class.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._ she thought to herself while trying to find her class. _just because I wanted to meet a hot fireman!_

She smiled a little to herself as she imagined the fireman dude person, swoop her up into his muscular arms, and save her from the burning school.

Of course the school wouldn't be able to be saved, and it got burned to the ground, so she had to stay home and eat ice-cream for the rest of her life ; )

Unfortunately, this was only wishful thinking, and reality hit her as she reached her first class: Math…

**_~…~_**


	4. Episode 3: Stop and Stare

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01E03**

**Episode: Stop and stare**

**I've got my heart set on anywhere but here  
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years  
Steady hands, just take the wheel...  
And every glance is killing me  
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead**

She opened the door. She expected it to be heavy like the main door had been, so she pushed it hard. But the door wasn't heavy at all, so it flew open. She just barely managed to get a hold of it again and stopped it from flinging into the wall. She stumbled in as she had lost her balance from throwing herself at the door.

**Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere**

**Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be**

Have you ever felt like you are being stared at? That you're imagining everybody looking at you because you said or did something stupid? Well Haley is feeling like right now.. Without the imagining part!

Haley looked cautiously out towards the math class. Everybody had litteraly turned their heads and basically just stared at her: 25 people, or 50 eyes, just staring at her.

She was so embarrassed and she could feel herself blush and getting sweaty.

She had apparently been the last one to get there 'cause every seat was full.

"Well, what an entrance!", the teacher exclaimed in a mocking manner. Haley looked towards the teacher who stood there in his worn-out brown suit, with his chin held high. Haley estimated him to be in his mid 40's. His enhanced eyes, behind his horn-rimmed classes, were starring her down.

"Could you please close the door - and softly!" he added, "We don't want you to destroy anything on your first day.", the teacher continued, and the class started their mechanical laugh.

Haley did as she was told and walked towards the teacher, and asked in an almost whisper:

"Excuse me, where am I supposed to sit, I am kind of new at this", she sounded apologetic and embarrassed.

"Do you have the letter, which was sent to you?"

She really felt like he was staring her down, but she couldn't tell for sure if it was reality or something she imagined. She had a pretty big imagination: One time she thought a dog poop was a little bird because it was so furry! (A/N totally happened to me once! It was so embarrassing; my entire class laughed at me)

Haley nodded slowly and gave the letter to him

The whole class was watching her every move. Haley could hear the whole class buzzing, whispering. Not a whole lot happened in this rather small town, so she must have been the topic of the week - or at least the topic of the day… okay probably just the topic of the hour!

She glanced out at the class through the corner of her eye. They all looked at her with curiosity. A few seemed to look at her with reserved minds, and they were kind of cold looking - but that's what she expected. Not everyone was good with changes, so she couldn't really blame them.

All she had to do now was to keep it low key like she had promised herself earlier.

"Please take your seat", the teacher said and interrupted her thoughts, while giving back her letter.

Haley looked out confused. There were no seats available, as far as she could see. She felt like an idiot just standing there, in front of everyone. She didn't know what to do.

Haley felt like she had been standing there, for what seemed like forever. She didn't know what to do, and she was becoming increasingly nervous. She could hear the clock, which was hanging on the wall, ticking louder and louder, and all the students looked at her as if she was crazy.

Tick, tock, tick tock.

**They're trying to come back, all my senses push  
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...  
Steady feet, don't fail me now  
Gonna run till you can't walk  
Something pulls my focus out….And I'm standing down.**

The letter she had had in her hands was now grumbled into a little paper ball because she was so nervous, so she had absentmindedly grumbled the innocent letter.

"Take your seat", the teacher repeated, and looked at her strangely.

Her heart pounded. She didn't know what to do. The clock still ticked far too loudly. She looked out towards the class one last time with begging eyes, but there were no sympathetic eyes to be met.

"Uhmm…. where should I sit?", she managed to ask very quietly.

"On the floor!" the teacher said automatically, with raised eyebrows, as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

"On the floor?" Haley repeated confused. It was so degrading.

"Yes", the teacher answered plainly. Confirmingly.

Haley didn't know what else to do than obey, so she slowly walked further into the class, she bend down a little and got ready to sit down, while being really red in her face.

"…Or a desk would also do", she heard the teacher say behind her. The students started to giggle, and whisper a little to each other, as if making fun of her ignorance.

She looked over at him again, really confused. She saw him point towards the right corner of the room. She looked over there: She couldn't see anything other than filled chairs and starring students. Haley looked back at the teacher. He had begun to look really annoyed and impatient, so she automatically stood up completely and with the little dignity she had left, she walked towards the right corner of the room. As she came closer she could see a desk and stool, and she let out a sigh of relief. She sat down quickly, and tried to be as quiet as possible, while hoping everyone would magically forget about her.

Finally the clock died down.

**_~…~_**

**_Question:_**

**_- What do you guy's think of the Haley character?_**

**_- what do you like/disklike about the story?_**

**_i really want to improve =)_**


	5. Episode 4: Something Brown

**Can't Be Anone Else**

**S01E04**

**Episode: Something brown**

* * *

**I glanced upon the ground today,  
I noticed something,  
It followed me along the way.  
A figure of gray,  
Impersonating every move I make.**

* * *

After the first math class had passed she had been more cautious. Haley felt like she had had a huge sign attached to her with the word DORK on it. The sign seemed to slowly disappear as everyone forgot about her and the shadows darkened her figure.

After lunch only one class was left so she thought the worst was over. But obviously she had forgotten about the most terrifying experience you could ever have in school: The cafeteria. Not only did the food look like it came from another planet, but just the whole experience where everyone was tumbling around, yelling at each other like they were wild animals, was terrifying.

She looked at the brown blot on her plate, she didn't dare to smell or ask what it was. Then Haley looked around to see if a seat was available. She stood there starring for a while, and she didn't know what to do with herself. Every time she went near a table they would just stare her down, and make it clear to her that she didn't fit in, in their group. Of course they would never say this to her face cause that would be rude of them! So instead they would just stare her down as if she was a target they were about to attack.

Haley could feel her hands get sweaty, and shaky. It was getting so embarrassing. She couldn't just keep standing there like some sort of big dork

She stood on her tip-toes to look over everybody, to see if a seat was available elsewhere. Just then she saw a dark haired girl sitting at a table, laughing along with her friends. Haley could feel a relief and warmth flowing through her body. There was finally something familiar in this school. She wasn't alone.

A small smile of relief crept upon Haley's face, for the first time that day. She automatically walked towards the dark haired girl, Brooke, making her way through the crowds.

Haley heard Brooke again, and it made her stop.

Haley could see her a little now. Brooke was happy. Brooke was happy - happy without her.

Haley realized what she was doing, and what she was jeopardizing on Brooke's behalf. Brooke belonged in this place, in this school - if Haley was a good friend she wouldn't jeopardize it for Brooke. Brooke had been so selfless, and would do anything for her, and Haley felt that it was time to give her something in return.

Haley couldn't believe she had almost broken the promise, the promise that she practically had forced Brooke to maintain.

Haley stared at Brooke and her new friends, safely hidden by the many passing students who occasionally bumped into her.

The weird thing about this was that she didn't feel jealous or hurt because Brooke had met these new friends….. No... She felt a kind of relieved. Brooke had been Haley's only friend, and for that reason she had been holding on to her, she had been afraid of losing her. Brooke had been stopping by almost every day when Haley had been homeschooled, so seeing Brooke with these new friends – it made Haley feel like Brooke finally got what she deserved.

Haley felt unworthy of her friendship, but these people in this school, were in Brooke's league.

Brooke was the most kind-hearted person she knew, and knowing that even though she had taking so much of her time, she still had tons of friends, was a relief for Haley.

Brooke deserved all the happiness and love in the world.

Haley turned around, walking away from Brooke. Her laughter was still ringing in the background.

She needed to get out of there, away from all of these people, she thought to herself as she was trying to make her way through the masses. It was too loud, too crowded.

She walked out of the cafeteria with the brown gluey stuff, which supposedly they called lunch there.

She closed the door, and the noise decreased to a remote chatter. Haley leaned against the door, sighing, and rested her head for a moment, and enjoyed the silence. She really needed a moment of peace to get through the last period.

Haley could hear people coming closer to her, and she swiftly walked away… actually she practically ran away.

She had no choice - she knew what she had to do to be able to escape this moment - even if it would only be for a little while.

She searched and searched forever it seemed- before she found her sanctuary: The Bathroom.!

Haley got into one of the bathroom stalls, and locked the door.

She slumped down on the toilet seat, and her body was finally at ease - all she could hear was the dripping water from the sinks, and the ventilators deep roaring.

She embraced the silence, and was thankful for this quite moment she had gotten to herself.

Haley just sat there with her eyes closed, listening to her own breath, which was finally slowing down, and she completely forgot where she was- her mind just wandered away to a peaceful place, far away from the school and its students.

The peaceful silence was soon interrupted by a deep growl. Haley opened her eyes and stared at a toilet door - yanked back to reality.

It took her a split second to realize that it had been her stomach  
growling. She looked from her stomach to her food: the brown gluey… thing… was just lying there lifeless.

Because she was sitting on a toilet while looking at this brown disgusting food, she quickly associated the food with something completely different - and let's just say that the association made her lose her appetite!

**_~…~_**

**_Sorry, the next one is going to be more exciting - I promise =)_**


	6. Episode 5, Part 1: What is in a name?

**can't be anyone else**

**S01E05**

**Episode: What is in a name?**

**Part 1**

* * *

**What is in a name? Is it the definition of who you are? The family you come from? Or has it no meaning at all?**

**We are programmed to respond to this one name, like robots - A human controlled by some sort of mechanism which cannot be ignored. It haunts us, and forever more will this name belong to you: it is the name which was given to you at birth - at the beginning of life, and your name will stand upon your grave for all eternity - in death.**

**It will follow you.**

* * *

Not one single person had spoken Halimah's name the entire day. If her name was the definition of who she was - it would only be defining that she didn't exist. Not in this "high school world" - anyways. In some ways she felt a sort of relief because of her missing identity, which was in her name. She had the chance to make her own identity instead. The only problem was that no one acknowledged her presence!

Classes had passed the entire day. No one had spoken to her. No one had teased her. No one had welcomed her. No student had really looked at her. Only the teacher had had a brief glance at her as they assigned her a seat.

She was a shadow, lingering to the dark halls of the school - hiding from the rest of the world, but being stepped on constantly. She was there but had no presence.

The lunch break was over way too fast in Haley's opinion. Even though her peaceful time was interrupted a couple of times, by people who had to pie or… ohm… make the toilet make plumbing sounds – the bathroom had still been a little oasis, for her.

Haley had quickly gathered her things, when the bell had rung, and made her way to her last class: English.

Fortunately for her, not a lot of people were in the room yet, so there were plenty of seats available.

Haley took a seat way in the back, and took all of her new books out. She had always loved the smell of books, and now when everyone used computers instead - she valued them even more.

The books could always take her into another world, it gave her peace of mind to escape from whatever that might have been going on.

Brooke would often be annoyed with Haley though: When Haley was reading she could get so lost in these magical places that she would forget about the real world.

"Your such a dreamer Haley", Brooke would always say. And Haley would always reply: "a pessimistic dreamer!", and then they would laugh.

Usually Haley didn't get a whole lot of time to read when Brooke stopped by, cause Brooke couldn't sit still that long. _Brooke is simply bored too easily_ Haley thought, but it was okay, cause it brought Haley more out of her shell.

Brooke whished sometimes she hadn't though, brought her out of her shell, cause when Haley got hyper she rambled and talked forever - and Brooke couldn't complain about it because, as Haley had pointed out several times, she was the one to blame for that…

Haley sat there in the classroom and smiled to herself as she remembered this.

The class was almost full now so Haley was trying to keep her head down, so nobody would notice her.

Suddenly she saw a young woman entering the room, she had a glow and a presence about her, and Haley knew immediately that this woman was going to be her favorite teacher.

The teacher was now putting her bag on the table and the entire class, it seemed, followed her intently with their eyes.

The teacher had such warmth and aura about her - which everybody immediately felt.

Maybe it was her long brown hair, with hints of red in it, which looked so appealing as it hang loosely: It was wavy, long - all the way to her shoulders. It looked soft as velvet, and it followed her every move elegantly and with such grace.

It could also be the woman's poise which appealed the students - she had a poise which was rank, like a models. But it didn't make her look snobbish though, as it usually made a model look.

No it made her look… full of dignity.

The thing Haley thought that appealed the most to everyone, herself included, was her eyes: They were ivory green - a piecing green, which Haley was sure could see through even the thickest of lies.

They were glistening with life and warmth as well. They had a hope and a fire in them, which seemed to have burned out a long time ago with the older generation of teacher that Haley had had so far.

The green eyes lingered to the class, as if she was evaluating something, or as if something was missing.

Her eyes wandered across the class, until she made it to Haley's face, which was way in the back. Then her eyes lit up even more - if that was even possible.

A smile spread across the teachers face - she had finally found what she was searching for.

_Crap_ - was all Haley could think, before the teacher spoke with authority, and softness in her voice:

"I see we have a new student" - the teacher concluded, and looked genuinely happy to say so.

This should probably have calmed Haley down, the sincerity of her happiness, but it didn't - Haley was instead freaking out.

**to be continued**


	7. Episode 5, Part 2: What is in a name?

**Can't be anyone else**

**S01E05**

**Episode: What is in a name?**

**Part 2**

_"I see we have a new student" - the teacher concluded, and looked genuinely happy to say so._

_This should probably have calmed Haley down, the sincerity of her happiness, but it didn't - Haley was instead freaking out._

The uneasy feeling returned, and she wasn't sure how to react to the statement. She wasn't at all prepared for this. All of the other classes the teacher hadn't paid any special attention to her. Non at all!

A few of the students followed the teachers glance: they actually looked surprised to see the unknown face of Haley. It was like they hadn't even noticed the "stranger" in their class room until now.

Haley wanted more than everything else, to just disappear - she couldn't handle their stares. It made her so uncomfortable to be looked at in that way, as if she was a prize cow being evaluated by her looks.

For a split second she hated her "favorite" teacher.

… And then she felt guilty for even feeling that way - what kind of person was this school turning her into?

_What am I thinking? OMG I hope she didn't hear it! Wait she couldn't have heard it, cause I thought it, right? Either way I didn't mean it! It was just a random thought, an impulse, I swear! _ - she thought to herself. The guilt washed over her, and she wanted to shout ´sorry´ so badly.

She bit her lip hard, and looked down the table: Was it her imagination or did even the table glare back at her condescendingly?!

Haley had sworn that she would never hate another human being. And she had learned that just hate as a whole, was a bad thing - it was like a poison which would slowly devour you from the inside.

Maybe it was because she had been hurt herself, that she despised hurting others, and even if she just had done the slightest thing she would immediately feel guilty.

The ivory green eyes lingered on Haley, watching her every move with a kind smile on her face. She was ignorant to the distress she had just caused Haley - and both the teacher and Haley herself was unaware, in that moment, that it was going to get even worse.

**_~…~_**

While Haley was kind of hyperventilating, she heard a soft voice which was addressed to her. She looked up to see the teacher talking to her:

"My name is Eva", the teacher said kindly, and nodded her head towards Haley.

The teacher's voice seemed to have caused the students to fall back into their trance, and they had just turned automatically to give their teacher their undivided attention again. This didn't bother Haley at all - she was grateful for it.

"I understand that this is your first day?" Eva stated, more than questioned, yet Haley felt obliged to answer her.

Her throat felt dry and sore, she had a big lump in her throat that she couldn't get rid of. She couldn't get any sound out at all, so instead she gave a weak nod in agreement to the statement.

"Welcome to Tree Hill High, I'm sure everybody will make you feel at home", she said while looking out on the students. It felt like a warning, yet she still had a smile on her face and warmth in her voice.

She let the silence rest for another while, which seemed to increase the intensity in the class. You could hear everybody's light breathing, and if you listened closely, you could probably hear Haley's beating heart as well!  
Eva then turned her attention towards Haley once again, and smiled at her so warmly that it could do nothing but calm Haley down a bit. What was with this teacher? It was like an emotional rollercoaster ride, which constantly moved up and down.

Eva, the teacher, smiled and continued talking to her:  
"Would you like to introduce yourself Halih(…)" before the teacher had even finished the sentence, she had been abruptly interrupted by someone yelling:

"HALEY!"

The whole class jumped at the loud sudden outburst and the deafening BANG that followed it.

Yes your name is forever a part of you. And maybe it even hunts you – like in Haley's case. She had thought she could escape, but once again her past had caught up to her.

In life and death: It will follow you.

**_~…~_**


	8. Episode 6: The Fear of the Unknown

A big shout out to hey-torch for renewing my faith in this story. I was beginning to doubt myself a bit, and you totally turned my day around – so thank you =)

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01E06**

**Episode: The fear of the unknown**

* * *

**We are quick to judge, **_fear_** and even hate the **_unknown_**.**

* * *

They looked around in search for answers, not knowing what had caused the sudden racket. The confusion was apparent on all of the students faces. A few of the girls had even shrieked in fear, as a result of the deafening noise.

Fear indeed consumed their thoughts: The thought of the unknown, the thought of changes in their environment. But when they saw the source, from which the noise had emerged, the fear which had consumed their thoughts changed from fear to annoyance: Annoyance towards the unknown, annoyance towards the change in the environment: Annoyance towards Haley.

Way in the back where the noise had emerged, Haley stood up, bent over her table and her hands laid on the table supporting her weight. Her chair laid on the floor.

Haley herself didn't seem to know what she had done: Her face was covered in a mixture of panic and despair. It gave her a crazy look, as her ruffled hair covered most of her face.

The surrounding students had followed the noise and saw, to their dismay, that Haley had been the sinner.

Haley had not been so far gone that she didn't see their scared, cold glares, that they send her for scaring them. Haley snapped out of it, as she realized what she had done. Her eyes flickered quickly around the room as she stood up strait again, and removed the hair from her face, trying to look decent again. Haley then looked to her fumbling hands to avoid the blaming faces.

"freak", she heard someone mumble so quietly that it was obvious that she wasn't supposed to hear. A few people giggled softly in response as they rolled their eyes.

Haley glanced apprehensively towards the teacher: She looked unaffected about the whole situation. If it hadn't been for the light twice she had made, when the chair hit the floor, you wouldn't think she had even noticed the episode.

Ms. Eva cleared her throat loudly and calmly, to make the students pay attention.

"Do proceed _Haley"_, Eva said encouragingly, while emphasizing Haley's name.

Haley crunched her eyebrows together in confusion. Eva looked as if she understood exactly why Haley had reacted the she did, as if she could see right through her, right through her secret. _Maybe she really could see through even the thickest of lies_, Haley wondered.

"You may continue introducing yourself", Eva stated once again, as she saw Haley's puzzled expression.

"uhmmmm", was all that Haley could get out of her mouth. She looked around the class who still looked pretty annoyed with her, so she decided to keep it short:

"My name is Haley, and this is my first day of school", she said quickly and mechanically and then hastily sat her stool up strait as quietly as possible, and sat down.

The silence filled the room as her short pathetic answer had lost it sound. Eva still looked at peace even though Haley's face had fare from hidden her anxiety.

Haley avoided everyone's staring eyes.

"okay then", Eva said while laughing lovingly at Haley's surprisingly short answer and changed the topic, to focus on the class.

Haley sighed in relief.

**_~…~_**


	9. Episode 7: Crossroads

**Can't Be Anyone Else**

**S01E07**

**Episode: Crossroads**

* * *

**Where do the roads lead you? Which path are you on right now? Do we even know - or do we just follow the most convenient, with no further consideration of the consequences?**

**Some roads leads to misfortune, some roads leads to happiness, some roads leads to safety, and now and again we are faced with a cross road: A cross road where we are forced to choose our path.**

**When faced with these crossroads in our lives we should take a good look at where we have come from and where we are going - Or rather where we ****_want_**** to be going.**

* * *

Haley was right at this minute running down a road; a road to her home and the familiar safety which came along with it.

Her final class had just ended, and she was more than happy to get out of there. She had done nothing but embarrass herself the entire day.

Her thoughts were running faster than her legs at this minute, as she went over all of the embarrassments again and again.

She felt the wind hit her in the face: It was cool and refreshing, and her hair danced around her as she ran faster and faster. She just wanted to go home.

Haley's breath was harsh and uneven but she didn't even seem to notice it herself: Her heart craved her home more than oxygen.

As her feet hit the ground they would make small thudding sounds, and her surroundings became a blur.

In fact everything was a blur.

She barely saw the nearby students who eyed her as she ran past them at the speed of lightning.

**_~…~_**

Haley finally reached her destination as she saw the front door to her house. She felt her whole body ease as she saw it. The sort of numbness she had felt slowly began to disappear - In return all of her human frailty returned full strength: She felt the weariness, the thirst and exhaustion take over her body.

Her throat was dry and harsh because of her hectic breathing. She used her last bit of strength to run the last few meters down the pathway of her house.

_It is said that freedom is a state in which somebody is able to act and live as he or she chooses, without being subject to any undue restraints or restrictions._ That was an accurate description of Haley's house, so when Haley's slim fingers wrapped around the cool doorknob, she was able to open this "portal" to freedom.

Haley immediately recognized the sweet scent of flowers, as she stepped in. The scent always filled her home.

She closed the door quickly; shutting out the rest of the world.

She put her back against the door as she finally was able to rest.

Her heart was beating like a sledgehammer against her chest. It was beating far too violently. It was an odd kind of pain which came along with the beating heart – almost like she had been using her heart too much for her own good.

Haley let her head fall back, hitting the door with the back of her head. She tried to take a couple of deep breaths to calm her heart rate down.

She felt warm drops of sweat beginning to trickle down her forehead; her breath was heavy with exhaustion.

Haley sighed, and warily threw of her jacket and shoes while dragging her heavy body to the kitchen sink.

She turned on the water mane: the water looked so intriguingly cool and fresh, like it was begging for her to drink it.

Haley folded her hands as though it was a cup, and let the cool water run into, and through, her fingers.

The cool sensation seemed to make her thirst grow rapidly and she eagerly gulped down the cold refreshment.

She immediately felt better, as she felt the water run down her sore throat – but it wasn't enough – she was still boiling after the long run: she splashed the water on her face, her neck, her arms; basically everywhere!

She then caught a glimpse of her reflection, on the water faucet: She looked like a little drowned puppy, with her wet hair clinging to her face and small droplets of water clinging on to her eyelashes. Her big brown eyes were staring back at her with a sad look lingering to them.

She quickly looked away, shaking her head.

"Oh God, I'm turning into a water junkie – a sick, pathetic, water junkie!"

She then began to snicker to herself: She actually found it quite amusing, how messed up school had made her. It seemed kind of surreal.

"MOM?" Haley shouted while drying of her face in her sleeve. Her mother was usually roaming around the house, tidying things up, or making way to many snacks. Haley moved towards the staircase.

"MOM?" she shouted yet again, hoping that her mom was hiding upstairs.

No answer.

She sighed. Apparently her mom hadn't gotten home yet. It was so weird – she was so used to having her Mom around all the time when she had been home schooled.

She had always been there.

Now the house was just unusually quiet.

Haley slumped down on the staircase.

Why did her mom have to go and get a new job again? Oh yeah, because of her! Since Haley had turned 16, they no longer got child support money from her father, which left them pretty much screwed.

Just the thought of her dad made her angry: Like he hadn't done enough to ruin their life.

Suddenly she heard the front door being flung open. Haley didn't even bother to get scared, 'cause she knew immediately who it was: Only one person would barge into her house like that.

"HALEYY?" she heard the familiar voice call.

"I'm in here" she called out, kind of relived that some noise and life had returned to the house.

A frenzied looking Brooke appeared before her. She looked like she had had way too much coffee!

"OMG, you have to tell me everything! And by everything, I mean EVERYTHING" Brooke squealed while marching over to Haley, who calmly sat on the staircase.

"Well hello to you too", Haley answered slightly amused by the impatient Brooke.

"No time for pleasantries! Come on spill it: How did it go? How were your classes? Did you meet any cute guys? ... And why are you all wet?" She finally questioned, as she took in Haley's appearance.

"Uhm, awful, awful, no cute guys, and: I tried to see if I could drain the water facet of water – yeah, didn't turn out so great!" Haley replied sarcastically.

Brooke didn't look amused.

"Come on Haley, seriously! You've got to tell me how it was - I've been dying to know all day" Brooke exclaimed while doing a little impatient dance.

Haley couldn't help but smile at Brooke's antics, but she was less than thrilled to retell her day at the "high school horror house".

"There really isn't much to tell" Haley said apprehensively. Unfortunately she had always been a bad liar, and it was clear that Brooke wasn't buying it as she lifted her perfectly plucked eyebrow in disbelief.

When Haley still remained silent, Brooke then began to pull a child-like pout, and Haley realized that keeping gossip form Brooke was like taking candy from a kid.

"Fine! You really want to know?!" Haley exclaimed finally caving in."It was absolutely embarrassing! I've done nothing but making a fool out of myself the entire day"

Brooke took in Haley's deflated demeanor as she buried her face in her hands and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Come on, I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad Hales" Brooke said reassuringly as she seated herself next to Haley on the stairs.

"Besides I haven't heard one thing about you all day" Brooke continued as she saw that Haley wasn't responding. She quickly regretted her words, thinking that Haley would take it the wrong way – but before she had a chance to correct herself Haley peeked between her fingers and asked in a small voice "Really?"

Brooke was taken by surprise at hopefulness in her voice but immediately took the opportunity to console her.

"Absolutely! And I would have heard something - I'm like the queen of gossip after all" She grinned proudly and Haley couldn't help but give a tentative smile back. Maybe it hadn't been that bad after all? Maybe she had simply blown things out of proportion?

"Besides a girls who went psycho in class seems to have stolen your thunder New Girl" Brooke continued while nudging Haley in the side.

"A girl went psycho? What happened?" Haley managed to ask in a half curios, half encouraging tone. To be honest she wasn't really all that interested but she hoped that this would distract Brooke from probing any more about her embarrassing day.

Brooke eyes twinkled with excitement.

"Okay this girl apparently just went berserk in the middle of the class! Apparently she was totally drugged up"

"Oh my God! Really? In the middle of the school?" Haley questioned, as it seemed unlikely.

"Yeah totally! Rachel was telling everybody about it after school. The chick just started yelling and throwing chairs out of nowhere!"

Suddenly an uneasy feeling began to creep up on Haley.

"What was the girls name?" she asked tentatively.

Brooke was thinking really hard, but couldn't come up with an answer.

"Actually I don't know" A big frown appeared on Brookes face as she admitted this.

"When did it happen – which class?" Haley enquired again.

"In English class, with ms. Eva" Brooke stated quickly and proudly as she knew the answer.

"Oh God!" Haley exclaimed mortified as she puzzled everything together. She once again slummed down and hid her face.

"What? What's wrong?" Brooke asked concerned.

"That psycho girl? Yearh that would be me"

Just when she thought things were starting to lighten up – it had taken a turn for the worse. She was absolutely horrified and embarrassed as she realized that everybody was talking about her.

Her plan as miss invisible didn't seem to work out so great.

"What? How? Why? OMG did you have a nervous breakdown or something?" Brooke asked completely confused and astonished at the new revelations.

"No of course not! And there were no drugs or chair-throwing involved what so ever, okay? I only, sort of, yelled my name really loudly… and the chair was knocked over by accident"

She realized it sounded absolutely ridicules as she said it out loud.

"…By the way, I worry about the way information circulates at school" she added deadpanned.

"Wait I still don't get it" Brooke said ignoring Haley's try at comic relief. "Why would you do that?"

"The teacher was going to call me Halimah" Haley stated as a matter of factly.

"Dude that's your name!" Brooke giggled. "Are you sure you haven't had a breakdown?" She asked suggestively

"No I did not have a breakdown" Haley said annoyed.

"Okay, then. Are you ill? Do you have a fever?" Brook asked concerned. Her hand went up to touch Haley's forehead to check for a fever, but Haley swatted the hand away impatiently.

"No listen to me", she said and grabbed Brooke's shoulders, while starring directly into her eyes.

"She was going to call me _Halihma_", she said more slowly and emphasized each word, as if it would help Brooke to understand

"Okayyy?" Brooke questioned as she still wasn't getting it.

"She was going to call me Halihma" Haley said again breaking into a high pitched voice.

"And? That's your name?! I admit it is a little unique, but seriously it's nothing to be embarrassed about"

"I'm not embarrassed! Okay, well maybe I am a little… But you know as well as I do, that if Ms. Eva had said my full name everybody would have remembered me" Haley tried to explain.

Brooke finally seemed to connect the dots but didn't seem to have any sympathy for Haley. Instead she rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Come on Haley. I think you being a little paranoid"

"Am not"

"Are too"

"Am not"

In the back of her mind Haley knew that she probably had overreacted. She had been called Haley in elementary school too, but Halimah was such a distinctive name – she just didn't want to take the chance.

But there was no way she was going to admit this to Brooke.

They continued to bicker back and forth for a while and Haley took the time to enjoy the familiarity of their little banter.

In that moment she realized that what she had been running towards earlier was not just her home, which was merely a building when it came right down to it, but it was the people who made it a home: Brooke and her mom. They always made her day better, even when she was having a crappy day like today.

She truly had been blessed.

If Brooke had chosen differently when she decided to stay by Haley's side all those years ago – how drastically different would Haley's life have been? Would she even have survived it?

"I love you, you know that right?" Haley abruptly asked as she realized this. Brooke's face changed in split second from annoyed, to confused, to braking into a heart-warming smile.

"I love you too you goof" she giggled in response while embracing her in her arms.

**_~…~_**

Yes, their life's had crossed by accidents, and stayed by choice – forever leaving their mark on each other's life.

To think how many lives you've passed through, how many lives you have unknowingly affected – for worse or for better.

In this hectic world you could easily have missed what could have been your best friend?

Or Rushed by a person, who you could have helped?

Rushed by someone who could have helped _you_?

Yes life is made up by choices, paths and journeys.

Your choices matter. It can affect you for the rest of your life.

**_~…~_**


	10. Ep 8: The Choice that Changed her Life

**Can't Be Anyone Else**

**S01E08**

**Episode: The choice that changed her life**

* * *

**Okay so we have established that every choice matters. That every decision can impact you and/or others…**

**You constantly make decisions and those decisions ultimately changes your life and affect other's lifes as well. **

**… it is absolutely frightening to think about!**

* * *

...Too overwhelming to think that a single choice you make today can affect the rest of your life. It was definitely to overwhelming for Haley to comprehend, so instead she often closed herself off from it all by simply saying:

"NO!"

"Oh come on, Haley – it could be so much fun" Brooke pleaded to convince her. Her voice was covered in honey sweet sweetness, with a cherry on top. Her big emerald eyes shone with conviction and innocence.

Despite all of this Haley looked unaffected. She knew all too well Brooke's tricks.

Brooke had done nothing but talk about the new "royalties" which were going to attend their school in a couple of weeks. Actually the entire school seemed to be buzzing with the news of the new arrivals.

Haley didn't get it if she was honest. She had tried to explain this to Brooke – but Brooke had… well… "Brooke-logic" to the matter:

"They are loaded, they're hot, and they are basketball stars! What's not to get?!"

Apparently the Scott-brothers were quite infamous as they were named the most promising young basketball players. And it didn't't hurt that they were easy on the eyes either.

The news of the Scott brothers had definitely turned the school upside down.

Haley had actually been quite grateful for the news in the beginning as this quickly made her little escapade in English class old news. Only a few pupils had remembered her and had made a few snide comments behind her back - but other than that there had been nothing.

In fact, for the last month or so she had actually been able to go to class unnoticed and minded her own business – just like she had planned it – so there was no way she was going to risk that for some stupid competition.

"Haley you have to! Just think: You, me and the Scott brothers on a date!" Brooke squealed with excitement.

"Brooke, come on, what are the chances that the both of us will win the ´hot for scott´ competition" Haley tried to rationalize and couldn't help but cringe at the ridiculous name of the competition.

"Well it definitely couldn't hurt the chances" Brooke answered back defiantly.

Apparently the competition consisted of students putting their name in a box – and the principle would pick out the two winners. The prize of course would be a date with either Nathan Scott or Lucas Scott.

And if Haley had heard correctly pretty much every female student was going to put their name in. Even some guys were going to!

"I don't even know why the brothers would even agree to it – are they really that desperate?" Haley questioned. It was pretty much every stalkers dream to come within reach of the Scott brothers – God knows she wouldn't have dared it if she had been in their shoes.

"No they are not desperate – thank you very much! But they ARE gorgeous! Have you not seen the pictures?"

Brooke then shoved the pictures in her face for the tenth thousand time.

"Yes Brooke I have seen the picture – several times in fact" she reminded her.

"The picture seems to _magically _appear wherever I am: in my locker, in my rucksack, even in my pillow!"

Brooke had suddenly become very interested in the picture, as Haley continued.

"You wouldn't know anything about that, now would you?" Haley asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"I don't know what you are talking about!" Brooke denied a little too quickly while her eyes started to dart nervously around the room.

"Of course not" Haley said sarcastically with an all-knowing smile.

"It must be a sign though! A sign that magic will literally happen when we win this competition" Brooke tried to wing it – but failed to hold back the huge cheesy grin, she now had plastered on her face.

"Yearh sure, we'll be a real life fairy tale" Haley responded with an eye roll.

"Come on, just say yes! How can you resist with them looking like _that?"_

Brooke once again shoved the picture in Haley's face: The picture was clearly taken without them knowing. The two boys were genuinely smiling while playing basketball. It was obvious that they both were good looking with their defining abs clearly showing through their wife beater tank tops.

You would have never guessed that they were brothers though: One had raven dark hair and a kind of mischievous smirk lingering on his lips. In contrast the other brother had dirty blond hair and much gentler facial features it seemed.

Brooke took the picture back and looked at it longingly, while stroking it with her newly polished nails.

Haley almost began to giggle as Brooke was practically drooling – but she couldn't help but feeling a little concerned as well.

"You know, just because there are _good looking_, doesn't mean that they are _good guys_" Haley said softy, afraid that Brooke might get disappointed or hurt when she met them in real life.

Brooke looked up from the picture and met Haley's worried eyes.

"I know Haley-Bob"

Compared to how hyper and giddy she had been before, Brooke looked oddly serious and calm as she stated this,

She tucked her dark soft hair behind her ear and an almost tentative smile appeared on her lips.

"I was just thinking that this was something we could do together. School has been so drama filled for you – and I just thought that this could bring you some fun for a change."

Haley was taken by surprise by Brooke's admission. She should have known Brooke well enough, to realize that there was a deeper meaning to it all.

"That's really sweet of you Tigger" Haley said truly touched by the brunettes words.

"But I am honestly enjoying that things have quieted down – and schools really not that bad"

"Really?" Brooke asked doubtfully. She had seen the way Haley would tip-toe around school - always alone and always bearing a timid look. It couldn't be any further from the feisty, sarcastic Haley she knew.

"Really" Haley promised and gave her a reassuring smile.

Brooke still didn't look entirely convinced.

"But you should still enter the completion, if you want?"

"Hell yearh! There's no way I'm letting such fine, fine boys go – I'm not like you little miss spinster" Brooke teased and stuck her tongue out.

Haley mirrored her childishly and they both ended up giggling.

Yes Haley seemed to often choose the safe path. Saying "no" seemed to be a much safer choice in her opinion. A "yes" could open up doors and possibilities that she just couldn't cope with at this point in her life.

It seemed easier.

But was it better?

As Haley began to do her homework she missed the sly look that appeared on Brooke's face as she watched the picture yet again.

Yes your choices also affect others life's aswell– as Haley was about to find out.

**_~…~_**


	11. Episode 9: Flight or Fright

**Can't be anyone Else**

**S01E09**

**Episode: Flight or Fright**

* * *

**"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight. **

**And never stop fighting."**

**-E.E. Cummings**

* * *

She walked the halls. They seemed familiar yet somehow estranged. How many had walked them before her? Had any of them felt thisway?

It was odd.

She discretely looked at the students who passed her. It didn't look like they didn't fit in. Didn't they feel it? The pull to get away from there? To be free? Was she the only one?

Or were they just really good actors.

She looked to the ground again: The floor looked back at her like an old friend who would faithfully follow her everywhere.

She saw the familiar dent in the floor and she knew she was close to her locker. She sniggered slightly. It was kind of funny that she knew the floor better than the halls – or the students for that matter.

"Hey Haley"

She looked up to see that the person who had greeted her, had already walked passed her.

Felix.

She couldn't mistake the black hair and exotic tan. They had worked together briefly in math.

He seemed nice.

But she kept her distance. No reason to complicate things any further than necessary. Some brief hellos were all they shared.

_I just wanted to fly - Like a leaf in the wind  
A leaf in the wind  
But if you wanna fly - You've got to travel light  
And make yourself paper thin  
Paper thin _

She hummed the melody softly to herself – and couldn't help but notice the resemblance to her own life._ If you want to fly, you got to make yourself paper thin._

She had had the song stuck in her head for weeks now. Granted she thought that the artist, Tina Dickow, was a complete genius – but it was kind of getting annoying at this point.

She felt something light hit her head. She felt her body tense in annoyance – didn't people have anything better to with their life?

She scowled as she looked up to see who had thrown the paper-ball at her. She got her answer: Of course they didn't have anything better to do with their life.

Or rather _she. _

On the other side of the hall Brooke stood with a blatant smile plastered on her face. _Smooth – Very subtle. _Haley thought sarcastically but couldn't help but smile.

_"What?"_ Haley mouthed while glancing around to see if anyone was watching them.

Brooke looked like she was literally going to combust with excitement.

She pointed down the hall.

Haley looked but didn't see anything out of the ordinary: Masses of students clammed together, tumbling around like idiots. She looked at Brooke questioningly.

Brooke pointed yet again with greatly exaggerated movements.

That's when she saw the familiar exotic looking boy. _Felix_?

Haley looked at Brooke confused.

Brooke wiggled her eyebrows filled with insinuations.

Her and Felix? Haley had to stifle a giggle – firstly because Brooke looked like a goof, and secondly because it was absolutely ridiculous to think she had a shot with Felix.

Haley shook her head violently in denial.

Brooke then proceeded by making kissing noises, and shaped a heart with her hands.

_"Stop it!"_ Haley mouthed embarrassed while giggling.

But Brooke thought it was absolutely hilarious to tease her, so she continued to make those ridicules faces at her.

Haley searched for ways to make Brooke stop: She picked up the previously tossed paper-ball and threw it at Brooke.

Her face was priceless as it hit her right between the eyes!

Haley burst out laughing.

Only then did she realize that it had become oddly quiet in the usually noisy halls. Brooke seemed to notice it too as her face went from startled, to annoyed – to confused, as she looked around.

The odd silence was replaced by student's quiet murmuring. They sounded excited? Surprised?

_Okay, this school has officially lost it!_

Brooke looked at Haley questioningly. Haley just shrugged – no way was she getting dragged into whatever was going on.

Brooke on the other hand was intrigued. She began to walk over to where a group had formed.

Suddenly the murmurs evolved into an almost riot. Haley watched as a couple of young girls screamed and students began to push each other around.

What was going on?

An unease began to overwhelm her.

She looked for Brooke and spotted her at the edge of the crowd. She was standing on her toes trying to see what was going on.

Suddenly Brooke seemed to freeze. Her eyes went wide and her face drained off all color. She began to wobble a bit back and forth – and before Haley could even react, Brooke fell to the floor.

"Brooke!" Haley cried immediately. Her voice was filled with shock, worry and most of all fear.

**_~…~_**


	12. Episode 10: Fear

Two chapters in two days?! Yes that's right – couldn't leave you hanging for too long ;)

A special thanks to:

avr1432

hey-torch

othfan1919

xtinkxproductionsx

CrazieGirlie

lilyluna78

...For helping me keep my faith in this story.

And a thanks to everybody else reading: Shout out to USA, United Kingdom, and Canada for being my most faithful readers – followed closely by Australia, france and Germany! it's really cool to see so many different country's reading my little story.

Anyway's here we go:

**Can't be anyone Else**

**S01E10**

**Episode: Fear**

* * *

**A permanent emotion in mankind is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What we want above everything else is safety **

~ Henry Louis Mencken

* * *

Fear.

Nothing was going on in Haley's mind. Nothing but fear.

She stood paralyzed – heart pounding beyond control.

It couldn't have been more than a split second since Brooke fell to the floor, but it felt like hours.

The crowd of students had yet to realize that an unconscious girl who laid sprawled out on the floor.

Yes fear consumed her mind, but urgency would overwhelm her body: She automatically leaped towards Brooke, not caring about anyone or anything. Just her best friend.

"Brooke?" she whispered as she reached her - pleading her to wake up as she laid there unmoving. Her brown hair was fanned out on the floor.

"Brooke? Brooke? Brooke?" She pleaded again and again her voice becoming more and more urgent. It almost became a mantra as she repeated it again and again - Waiting for a different outcome.

Haley then proceeded to slap her gently on the cheek hoping that this would have an effect.

Did Brooke's eyebrow just twitch?

Haley was afraid that she had imagined it, so she slapped her gently again – and got the same reaction.

Haley almost leaped with joy. Brooke was slowly coming to.

She continued doing this until she could see those familiar hazel orbs staring at her.

Haley thought she heard a voice in the distance, asking what was going on – but she was simply to ecstatic to care.

"Ouch, stop the violence!" was the first thing Brooke mumbled and swatted Haley's hands away from her face.

"Brooke" Haley exclaimed relieved. "Thank God. Are you okay?"

"No I'm hallucinating!"

Haley furrowed her eyebrows "What?"

Maybe Brooke had hit her head a little too hard.

"I think I'm seeing the Scott brothers!" Brooke whispered as if she was confessing a national secret. Her eyes were wide and stared directly behind Haley's head. Haley questioningly followed her gaze and saw that in fact two very tall, very well build boys, were standing right behind them.

They had been the cause of this commotion.

"Is she okay?" The blondish boy asked looking intently at Brooke. Lucas Scott. She immediately recognized him from the photos. The black–haired boy watched from behind him… as did the rest of the school.

_This was so not part of the plan!_

Haley swiftly turned around to avoid everybody's gawking eyes. Luckily most of them had seemed glued to the boy's backsides – but still.

"I don't know" she managed to answer with a shaky breath.

She looked down at Brooke's dazed face. It almost looked like she was love-drunk as she smiled goofily up at Lucas.

"We should really get her to the nurse's office" Lucas stated. He bent down and picked Brooke up with an ease.

She heard a few girls squeal and "aww" in admiration.

Haley nervously bit her lip while contemplating her next move: She wanted to go with Brooke, to make sure she was alright – but what she did not want, was to get crushed by the Scott brothers many adoring fans.

She slowly turned to peak over her shoulder: Brooke was continuously poking Lucas Scott to see if he was real.

Her gaze drifted a little further only to be met with two piercing blue eyes. Nathan Scott.

She quickly averted eye contact and fumbled to get up from the floor and away from there as quickly as possible.

Haley couldn't go with them she just couldn't. She wouldn't be able to handle it – or them – she knew that. But that didn't stop the guilt

_Brooke has to be alright. She has too._

The raven-haired boy looked questioningly at the girl who stumbled her way down the hall with a high speed.

He kept looking as her small figure began to disappear. It was clear that he was confused about the sudden change of behavior: She had been the only one to help the unconscious girl, and had seemed genuinely concerned about her, but now she couldn't get away fast enough?

He shrugged as he turned around to follow his brother.

He would never understand chicks.

**_~…~_**


	13. Episode 11: Rhinoceros

**Can't Be Anyone Else**

**S01E11**

**Episode: Rhinoceros**

* * *

**Worry is a misuse of imagination.**

~Dan Zadra

* * *

"Are you sure you are okay?" Haley asked again

"I'm fine" Brooke said. Her eyes were dazed and a goofy grin seemed to be edged permanently onto her face.

"Are you sure? You seem a little… off" she finished as Brooke began to dance around herself while cackling like a hyena.

**…..**

Haley had been hiding near the nurse's office, waiting for everyone to leave. Only a small problem had emerged: They wouldn't move their asses! Seriously, she had seen snails move faster than these boys!

_Aren't athletes supposed to be fast?!_ She scoffed to herself.

It was torture not knowing what was going on. All she could do was

wait,

wonder,

worry

and other relevant w's words you can come up with.

She found it weird that they had actually stayed that long. It's not like they knew her. But she wasn't fooled by the seemingly nice gesture - It was probably only because their many adoring fans were watching them she reasoned. It sounded bitchy… and she was at this point! If they would just move, maybe she would be in a better mood. Besides, it may have been a cynical bitchy reason – but a logical reason none the less.

When they finally had left she hurried to enter the nurse's station, but before Haley could even open the door - Brooke came crashing through the door and strait into her arms.

A male nurse was hot on her tale.

"Hey fRieND!" Brooke exclaimed excitedly when she realized it was Haley who was steadying her.

Which brings us back to the cackling like a hyena part!

...

"What is this?" Haley asked questioningly at the nurse. She didn't know if she was supposed to be relieved that Brooke seemingly was fine physically, or should be worried that she was damaged psychologically!

"Uhm" the nurse stuttered nervously at Haley's accusing stance. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, wanting to choose his words very carefully.

Haley quirked an eyebrow up, and cut him a challenging stare – daring him to say `nothing´ - while she was trying to rein Brooke in from chasing imaginary butterflies.

"She, uhm, found some pills… on the.. floor?" it sounded like a question more than anything else. Haley could see right through it.

"Really?" Haley said sarcastically, but a hard edge was clearly coming through.

It looked like the nurse was going to repeat the rubbish – but one look in Haley's piercing chocolate brown eyes and he didn't stand a chance: They burned passionately, protectively – like a lioness protecting her cup. It would have been mesmerizingly beautiful… if it hadn't been so God damn scary.

He sighed in defeat and scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Look, just let her sleep it off and she will be fine" he advised.

"Fine? Fine?! Does THAT look fine to you?"

Haley motioned to Broke whose weight she was still supporting. She had found a new interest in Haley's hair and was twirling it around her fingers and sniffing it. Haley had long ago given up on swatting her away.

That lazy grin was still covering her entire face.

"What am I going to tell her mom? She's gonna think she is completely wasted"

He shrugged his shoulders and began to turn back the nurses' station. This was not his problem.

"Just tell her the truth about the pills", he said in an offhand comment over his shoulders as he fled the scene.

"Yeah, cause popping pills is way better than being a drunk?!" Haley yelled at his quickly disappearing figure.

_Unbelievable!_

It's just so typical of men – running away at the first sign of trouble. Argh, she wanted to scream.

She sighed in defeat as she realized that this was all on her.

"Okay, come on Druggie let's get you home." She groaned as she steadied Brooke by taken her arm around her waist. With much needed support Brooke was finally able to walk in a (almost) strait line down the deserted halls.

_The things I do for you._

**_~…~_**

Their footsteps sounded through the hollow halls but other than that it was quite… and it was weird! Brooke was never quite. Never. And now all she did was cackle a few times to heself.

"So… is your hand okay?"

Silence.

"Should I just take you home, or?"

Silence.

Haley scrunched up her face in exasperation: _Well that wasn't very helpful_. What in the heck was she supposed to do with her? She couldn't take her home that was for sure, if mrs. Davis saw her like this they were both doomed. She could probably take her home to her house, and let her sleep it off like the nurse had suggested… but it had to be one heck of a sleep to make _this_ go away. Haley gazed at Brooke, who had begun to walk like a fish out of water. The scene reminded her of Ariel, from the little mermaid, when she had first gotten her legs.

Haley sighed in fatigue and in realization that the plan would never work. Even if Brooke got her miracle sleep, ms. Davis was bound to find out. She had her ways. Haley shivered at the thought.

"Brooke please concentrate" She pleaded as her weight tucked a little extra on her.

Just a few steps further down the hall and it felt more like a hiking trip, a mountain climb or something equally exhausting. Those few extra painkillers were seriously affecting Brooke's coordination skills.

"What have you been eating lately?" Haley complained. "I swear your heavier than a rhinoceros!"

She let out another exhausted groan while trying to keep Brooke up.

Again, nothing but silence from Brooke.

"Rhinoceros? That's a funny word, right?! Rhinoceros." Haley said out loud, and let the word roll off her tong a couple of times.

Then she laughed to herself and came to the conclusion that it was indeed a very funny word to say!

"Hey do you think those pills you took are contagious?" Haley joked after she was done contemplating rhinoceroses.

Still no reaction. Not even when she gave her a friendly grin and a playful puff.

At this point Haley was pretty sure Brooke was just messing with her. No one could be that stoned.

"Brooke? Brooke! Halloo"

No matter how loud or low she called or how many times she asked, there was no answer. She waved her free hand in front of her face, but there was still no reaction what so ever

_Hmmm._

"Mommy" sounded a small voice so quietly Haley nearly missed it. Haley whisked her head around to look at Brooke. Did she just call her mom? Or was she beginning to imagine things as well?

"Mommy" Brooke repeated a little louder this time.

Well, at least she knew Brooke could still speak. It was so off but better than nothing, she concluded

"No, H-A-L-E-Y", she spelled out.

"Mommy" Brooke said yet again, clearly firm in her beliefs. Great it was like reasoning with a toddler. Haley was about to correct her again but as Brooke pointed down the hall she followed her gaze.

_Oh no._

"Brooke? Haley?" The familiar female voice called as she approached them.

They were so screwed.

"H-hey ms. Davis" Haley stammered nervously.

Yep, ms. Karen Davis definitely had her ways.

**_~…~_**


	14. Episode 12: The cheerleader way of life

random thoughts: Hate exams... love x factor :P

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01E12**

**Episode: The cheerleader way of life**

* * *

**Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together.**

~Pearl S. Buck

* * *

"So what did your mom say?" Haley asked with a sly smile, as she dropped down into her office chair in her room. She could just imagine Karen Davis going off - she was definitely a strong character. Actually she had been surprised that Brooke had been allowed out of the house just a day after the incident.

Brooke just scowled at Haley's amused face.

"Don't you smile! I lost my phone for a week because of it." Annoyance and disbelief was dripping out of Brooke's every pore.

"She didn't even care that I did it because I was in pain! I mean seriously, what kind of mom is that?!"

"A caring one?" Haley argued, but Brooke just sent her a doubtful look as she kept pacing the room back and forth. What kind of mom would want to see her daughter in pain? Definitely not a caring one.

Haley's mouth twitched as she tried to withhold her smile: Brooke look almost constipated with frustration end emotions.

"Brooke, you used a male nurse as a drug-dealer! What did you think was going to happen?" Haley reasoned amused. This question made Brooke stop her pacing.

"It was painkillers!" She exclaimed at Haley's remark. She found it a complete exestuation (yet somehow oddly true).

"You were high!" Haley stated and all but laughed.

Brooke let out a frustrating grunt as she flopped on the bed. She had her there. She couldn't even remember how she got home. All she could remember was bright spinning colors all around her.. And for some reason rhinoceroses. Weird right?

"I guess I should just be happy that I was let out of the house again" Brooke grumbled mostly to herself.

As Brooke laid down on the bed she tried to calm herself down. She knew Haley had a point but she was just so annoyed. How in the world was she going to survive without her phone? She began twirling her hair as she stared at the ceiling a she tried to contemplate this. It was all that stupid nurses fault for calling her mom! Men! Nurses! Painkillers!

She huffed an annoyed breath and sank further down into the soft pillow.

She starred at the off-white ceiling. The ceiling had small barely visible creaks she noticed. If you looked closely it almost looked like a fragile spider-web which stretched out on the entire ceiling. It was covered by a few glow-in-the-dark stars, which Haley had had since forever.

Brooke slowly began to calm down and a comfortable silence surrounded them.

Brooke sat up a little further and observed Haley: She had made herself comfortable at her desk, armored with a pencil and notebook, ready to take homework on. Her dark brown haired was pulled up in a messy bun, her dark-grey t-shirt hang loosely on her and followed her movements lazily as she started to write. This was Haley at her a-game. This was when she was most at ease. Brooke could never understand why, though Haley had tried to explain it a thousand times: She apparently found it therapeutic just to find the answers. One question, One answer. It was like the world was much simpler when she had homework in her hand. Math didn't care about anything else but math! So she would automatically turn off her often to hectic trail of irrelevant thoughts.

To Brooke any homework was hard work. She didn't care for it and she didn't enjoy it. Period.

Was now a good time to say it, Brooke wondered. As good a time as any she guessed but it didn't make it any easier. She knew Haley wouldn't be thrilled about it. Brooke opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, before finally blurting out:

"I think I want to be a cheerleader".

Brooke felt oddly satisfied as she finally verbalized what she had been thinking about for quite some time now.

Haley turned around and was met with Brookes small self-satisfied smile. She smiled amused and expectantly waited for the punch line for the joke.

There was none. Brooke was serious.

Haley's eyes big brown eyes then changed from amused and started to flutter with confusion. What the heck just happened? Brooke wanted to be a cheerleader? Since when?

All the time she had known Brooke she had made fun of cheerleaders, and now she wanted to become one - it just didn't make any sense. She went over everything and found nothing. No sign, no remark, not anything she could connect to why in the world Brooke wanted to be a cheerleader all of the sudden. Well, nothing, except the fact that she must have hit her head a little too hard yesterday!

"It could be fun" Brooke tried cautiously, as she saw Haley's clearly confused face.

"You used to say their only aspiration was to go into splits" Haley remarked. Brooke grimaced a little at this - she was pretty sure she had said much worse than that!

They continued to argue a bit back and forth: Brooke being persuasive and ever optimistic and Haley resistant and utterly confused. She wasn't even sure how much of Brookes persuasions she had actually heard, she was so caught up in her own trail of thought. But there was definitely something about her friend Rachel who also wanted to try out.

She just didn't get it. They had always been part of the nerd brigade the two of them - and they had embraced their inner nerds… maybe even been somewhat proud of that. Or so she thought.

Maybe things at school had changed more for Brooke than she had realized. She knew Brooke had gotten new friends, she just didn't know it was the _cheerleader types. _

Haley scolded herself for sounding so judgmental. She knew it was just because of a bad personal experiences she had had, that she sometimes felt that way. Actually she had often found herself defending cheerleaders, when Brooke went off on them. But she just couldn't imagine Brooke, her Brooke, as a cheerleader.

"You yourself said that if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, does not mean the entire ocean becomes dirty!" Brooke stated.

"Actually Mahatma Gandi said that, and he was talking about humanity!"

"Well, same principle, different situation. Just because some cheerleaders may be bitches, doesn't mean they all are"

She knew Brooke had a point and by the looks of it Brooke did to, as a self-satisfied smirk appeared again. It isn't often you win a discussion with Haley, not to say you never do. Haley cringed; See that's what you get for defending cheerleaders- It gets thrown in your face. How are you supposed to out-argue one of your own arguments?!

She wasn't even sure why she was fighting this so much. It was true that she indeed had defended cheerleaders, so why was it so hard for her to let her friend become one? Had it less to do with the cheerleading and more to do with the feeling of drifting away from her friend?

Haley sighed in defeat.

"So this is something you really want to do?" Haley asked, finally caving in. She wanted to make sure it wasn't any of Brooke's new friends who were putting ideas into her head. Brooke's hazel eyes began to twinkle with hope, as she nodded enthusiastically.

"It really is" She admitted. She bit her bottom lip while expectantly looking at Haley.

"Well, okay then, I guess" Haley agreed, deciding to play the part of the supporting friend. If this was something Brooke really wanted to do, then she just had to suck it up and be there for her best friend. That's what best friends do after all.

"Really?" Brooke squealed excitedly, as she was literally bouncing up and down the bed. Her pearly whites were taking over her face, as she smiled from ear to ear.

"Really. But you're sure this has nothing to do with a couple of blue eyed basketball players, whose last names fittingly rhymes with hot?" Haley joked, trying to ease her own mood.

"No, they're just a bonus! Seeing them all hot, sweaty and shirtless at practice" Brooke giggled like a little school girl, and her laughter filled the small room.

Brooke was so over-energized and adrenalin pumped through her veins as she started to show Haley all kinds of crazy moves she had been thinking about doing for the tryouts. She did all kinds off kicks, tumbles and dance moves. She was literally breaking it down in the middle of Haley's crammed bedroom floor.

Haley couldn't help but laugh at the scene before her, yet she still couldn't stop the fear which was nagging in the back of her mind.

**_~…~_**


	15. Episode 13, part 1: A new way of life

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01E13**

**Episode: A new way of life**

**Part 1**

Who decides who we are? And are we, ourselves, in control of how we become it?

**_Do you ever wonder if we make moments in our lives, or if the moments in our lives make us?_**

Haley's mom decided to get a new job. Brooke decided to try a cheerleader way of life. And Haley… well Haley decided to stick by them.

All for different reasons, all for different causes: Wanting to achieve something, wanting to earn something. Something out of need, something out of want and something out of necessity.

Different paths, all intertwined.

It sometimes scared Haley to support those choices. Their choices. She wasn't even sure where it would lead them and she feared those choices and moments would slowly tear her away from the people she loved. That she would truly become alone.

Some say that moments are just that: Moments. That it has no significance because it seems to be such a brief amount of time.

Others believe that moments are what makes us, that our whole life is made up by a series of moments - random, meaningful or heartbreaking moments.

This leads to the question: Does a single moment matter? Can it really change your life?

A moment.

One moment.

One minute.

One second.

I guess we're about to find out:

In this moment Brooke was happy. No, correction, she was ecstatic!

Haley at this moment was tired and cranky! She had decided to do the whole supportive thing a friend is supposed to do, and she had found it to be quite a challenging task. Especially when that friend was Brooke. Sure, Brooke might be happy and ecstatic now, but she had been nothing but a nervous, delusional wreck the entire week. And Haley had been the one holding her together. Talk about switching roles: it was usually Brooke's thing to support with encouragement, energy and make you believe in yourself. Haley was also supportive, but used more subtle wisdom, self-sacrifice and kindness to show her support.

The reason Brooke was such a nervous wreck was because of non other than tryouts. Cheerleader tryouts.

Yes, Haley thought it was pretty crazy too and she had thought (or rather hoped) that the cheerleading thing never was going to happen. Brooke had other plans. She had forced Haley to practice different routines and jumps and cheers with her. It had to be perfect.

But Haley wasn't exactly a cheery person, at least not in the scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs kind of way. Yet that was what she had been doing the entire week. Again, and again, and again and… well you get the picture.

Brooke even wanted them to make new cheers together, but all Haley could come up with was: "Throw the ball, if you've got balls"! So Brooke quickly dismissed the idea again.

The whole week up to the tryouts it had been like this. Brooke had been so frantic and concerned with every little thing: Should I wear blue or red or yellow or white? Do you think they will like the routine? Maybe we should rehearse it again (for the seventh-thousand time)? Do you think they'll like me? Do you think it will go okay?

No matter how much Haley supported, reassured, and encouraged her, the questions kept reappearing. Even in the middle of the night, so Brooke would call when she was supposed to be sleeping - when Haley was sleeping! So yes, Haley was now cranky and sleep deprived, and thanked the lord that the tryouts had been held this morning.

Haley stood by her locker in the school hallway. Even the cold quite darkness inside there seemed appealing by now.

She tried to stifle another yawn. God she was tired.

If she had been even smaller, she would have crawled into the locker and slept there! She snuggled further into her oversized sweatshirt, while reminding herself that there only were a few more classes to go – and then she was free. She couldn't wait until her warm cozy bed would swallow her up whole.

Haley yawned again. Her eyes started to water as a response – almost like it was objecting to her withstanding.

That was when she heard it.

A loud shriek sounded through the hall.

Well, maybe the sound didn't quite qualify as just a shriek – but more as shriek mixed with overjoy, which had mated with a banshee!

Brooke soon appeared in the hallway, jumping up and down. She literally looked like a ray of sunshine: She was sporting her favorite yellow top and black skirt. Her whole face was alit with excitement. If her teethe smile didn't light up the halls then her eyes surely would – they shone like her birthday, Christmas and shopping day, were happening all at once.

The whole hallway of students seemed to kind of stare at her and her outburst.

Haley too glanced at her, half hidden behind her locker door. She smiled while rolling her eyes at Brookes outfit: A top and a skirt…. In the middle of autumn?! Now she really had conformed to a cheerleader way of life!… On second thought - she was just being Brooke!

But wait, did this mean…

Before Haley could even finish her thought she was pummeled down by Brooke.

"I got in, I got in!" she repeated while squealing excitedly. She hugged Haley so tightly that she could barely breathe.

"Can't. Breath." Haley managed to stutter hoarsely. Brooke loosened her iron grip a little, but refused to let her go just yet. Haley giggled to herself as she hugged Brooke back. She was genuinely happy for her best friend. She couldn't help but be proud of Brooke for all of her hard work to have paid of. She pulled away from the hug to wish her congratulation - but before she could even utter a word, Brooke started to ramble like spit fire:

"Oh my God Haley, it was amazing - _I _was amazing!"

Haley had to roll her eyes affectionately at that last self-satisfied comment.

"…but it was so scary Hales. I had to do interviews, and dance, and cheer, and learn choreography - and oh yeah, come up with my own cheer!"

Haley's eyes widened. This could not be good. They had both tried to come up with cheers together and it hadn't been pretty to say the least.

"What did you say?"

"Well I kind of panicked so I just said the first thing that came to mind" Brooke paused and seemed hesitant to say the rest. Haley looked at her questioningly and worriedly. It's never a good thing when Brooke was too blunt.

"I kind of used the one you came up with" She tentatively admitted while looking expectantly for Haley's reaction: She just looked confused.

"You used: ´Throw the ball, if you've got balls´?" Doubt and slight amusement was evident in her voice as she gawked at Brooke.

"Yeah? I mean it was all I could think of. But guess what? They _loved _it!" Brooked clapped in her hands excitedly, while squealing. "Can you believe it?" She asked happily, like she couldn't believe her luck.

"No, I can't" Haley said slowly. No seriously, she couldn't believe it. "Throw the ball if you've got balls" - was seriously going to be a new cheerleading catchphrase?! The image of a flock of cheerleaders yelling this in sync in a filled stadium filled her head. And then she burst out laughing! This she had to see in real life.

Oh God, what kind of moves were they going to do while cheering this? _That_ thought made her shudder slightly.

They had been so engrossed in their own conversation that they had completely forgotten about the fact that they were standing in the middle of the hall. Well, Haley had forgotten it until now as their own laughter had died down. Haley looked around to see people, not so discreetly, looking at them from the corner of their eye.

She caught Brooke's eyes, and it looked like she had followed Haley's gaze and realized it to.

An_ "_ups" expression, was showing clearly in her eyes, while Haley's was edged with "oh no".

Brooke felt Haley's distress and worked quickly, as she awkwardly took a step back from her. Then she went into some sort of weird actress mode, where she again began to jump and squeal a bit too excitedly. She turned away and moved her way down the hall where she began to hug complete strangers! Like it would explain why she had hugged this nobody that she seemingly didn't know.

Haley sighed in relief - this could definitely have been one of those moments which could have changed her life. She wasn't sure if it had worked completely but at least the focus wasn't on her anymore but on Brooke who was passing out free hugs. She saw a few guy's who were definitely enjoying it - maybe a bit more than they were supposed to as their hands started to wander slightly during the hug. Haley frowned in disgust. She would have to thank Brooke for this later - she definitely took one for the team.

Soon after she received a text from Brooke saying _see you later bestie_. Haley smiled, she was so grateful to have a friend like Brooke who always had her back.

**_~…~_**


	16. Episode 13, Part 2: A new way of life

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01E13**

**Episode: A new way of life**

**Part 2**

Haley was sitting in her last class for the day. She was really trying to pay attention but her fatigue had returned yet again. After the incident in the hallway she had been going on adrenalin but it had run out a long time ago. So now she was just tired. Her geography teacher didn't exactly help the matter as his slow monotone voice seemed to beg her to sleep. It was like a slow, slow, boring, lullaby.

Haley supported her head with her hand. It was literally the only thing that kept her from collapsing on the desk.

She tried to switch on her brain, but there was no use. Her usually brainy brain would have loved to soak up this knowledge - but now it was nothing but a mushy, useless, piece of goo!

Her glazed over eyes watched as the teachers mouth moved. Was he saying something? She wasn't even sure at this point. If he was, he wasn't making any sense.

Haley rubbed her tires eyes in an attempt to refocus…. That didn't help!

Tiny specks of dust danced around her in the old musty classroom. They were barely visible yet highly distracting. She was amazed at how free and weightless they seemed as they danced around all the students - affected by every little movement and breathe. A move too sudden and they would twirl around as if it had been a high-powered wind. A soft smile lingered on Haley's lips: It was actually quite beautiful.

She sighed and looked to the window were streams of sunlight shone through the blinds making the dust specks more apparent. It was like they too were yearning to escape away from there.

Suddenly a high-pitched tone rang through the speakers, making the students groan in agony. Haley cringed startled at the sound.

A silence cloaked the classroom as the voice of school secretary screeched through the speakers:

"Would Halimah Bob James report to the principal's office immediately!" The speakers clicked as they were shut off once again.

Haley cringed as she cursed her parents for going through their hippie period. Which other kid in the world was named after an Arabic, a dead cat and an ex-father?

That's when it hit her: Non! Which meant that she had just been called to the principal's office. Oh God.

She stiffened in fright. They couldn't throw her out for slacking off in _one _class? Or could they? Panic stricken her heart started to race with fear. It couldn't be - she hadn't even been sick once, or skipped class at all. She had even made all A's so far! She felt guilty and worried. It wasn't like her not to do her best - and by not doing so _one_ time she was being called to the principal's office. But wait a minute… How was she supposed to go to the principal's office in the middle of class - without them realizing who she really was?

Another wave of fear hit her.

Can a single moment matters? Can it really change your life?

The real question is not if it can, but if it will.

…and this time I'm betting it will.

**_~…~_**


	17. Episode 14: Offence! Offence!

_ask and you shall recieve ;)_

_BTW remember that episode **13 was split into**_** 2!** Read 'em both, and this chapter will make a lot more sense :)

**_~…~_**

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01E14**

**Episode: Offence! Offence!**

* * *

**I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care if my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they're the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights!**

Warren G. Harding (american President 1865-1923)

* * *

"BROOKE PENELOPE DAVIS!"

The front door to the Davis household was slammed as an angry voice penetrated the walls. Brooke sat in her room but heard the voice loud and clear. Brooke swallowed hard.

This wasn't going to be pretty.

She had been expecting Haley since she had gotten home. She knew she was bound to be a little angry at the episode that happened earlier at school - but it seemed like Haley was more than angry - she sounded pissed off! And a pissed of Haley James was _almost_ as scary as a pissed of Karen Scott - and that was saying something!

She didn't mean to get Haley in trouble - she never did - but she had just been so excited that she had passed the cheerleader try-outs. In the excitement of it all she had forgotten about their deal. She felt bad about it, she really did. But on the other hand she didn't feel like she should be punished for wanting to hug or celebrate her happiness with her best friend.

Who was she kidding? She had broken their deal even though she knew how important it was to Haley. She would just have to face the consequences. _The best defense is a good offence, right? _She thought she had heard some of the players saying that once - so she took a deep breath to prepare herself. She then put on her best innocent child-like pout while widening her eyes innocently.

She could hear the light footsteps, speeding determinately down the hall and towards her bedroom.

_Bring on the rain _she thought to herself. Just then the door flew open and a frenzied looking Haley appeared before her: Her pony-tale had loosened and stray dark tendrils framed her flushed face. Her cheeks were red-tinted, but she couldn't tell if it was because had had been running, because she was angry, or if it was simply because she was flustered? She then looked into Haley's eyes and there was no more doubt - though different emotions were flickering through them, one emotion was definitely more prominent than the others: She was pissed!

Brooke cringed. Nope this was definitely not going to be pretty.

_Offence, offence! _Brooke reminded herself

"Look I know what you're going to say and your right, I shouldn't have done it!" Brooke hurriedly got out before Haley could even utter a word. The quick admission seemed to throw Haley off a bit, which pleased Brooke immensely. She then proceeded by telling her how wrong she had been, and how it was all her mistake. Haley just stood there... Still furious! But Brooke could tell she was softening up a bit. After all Haley was a big softy underneath it all.

"You're damn right it was you're fault! What were you thinking Brooke?" Haley questioned. She started of harsh but the fuse quickly fizzled out as she looked at Brooke's remorseful face. She was making it so hard for her to be angry with her!

"I know, you're right. I totally broke our deal and I'm so sorry" Brooke said truthfully. Haley sighed and was still clearly troubled by it all. She ran her hand through her hair, pushing away the few stray tendrils away from her face.

"I just don't understand why you would do that?" Haley looked questionally at Brooke. She looked kind of … defeated?

_Wow she is really upset about this whole hug-thing _- Brooke thought to herself. She started her guilty ramble about how she just hadn't thought about it, she had just done it - how she had just wanted to celebrate and so on. But the more she continued the more lost Haley looked. She furrowed her eyebrows together as Brooke continued her rambling apology.

"…and I don't know what come over me. I knew our deal, and I'm so sorry I broke it. I was just so happy and I wanted to share it with my best friend." Brooke sent a soft smile Haley's way, trying to charm herself out of the mess she had made. But Haley stood completely still, like some sort of bewildered statue.

And she continued to stand still..

And still.

And still.

…Before finally bursting out with: "What the heck are you talking about?"

"The whole hugging-cheerleader-thing" Brooke stated while wearing an obvious duh-face. "Why, what are you talking about?" she asked puzzled.

Haley began to scowl at Brooke as she was reminded about her horrible day.

"I was talking about the fact that I was called into the office today, right in the middle of the class. I am talking about the fact that I had to sneak out of class, like some sort of weirdo who has digestive issues. I am talking about the fact that when I got there, the principle congratulated me… for winning the 'Hot for Scott' competition!"

_What? _Brooke's mouth turned agape. Haley had won? Absolute thrill ran through her as she was about to congratulate her. How lucky could a girl get? But looking at Haley she quickly turned that smile, upside down- 'cause Haley was definitely not happy.

"You can imagine my surprise when he said that. Especially since I haven't even applied!". Haley glared at her accusingly. Her arms were crossed over her chest, awaiting Brookes reply.

_Crap _was all Brooke could think. She knew she was so busted.

"I'm sorry?" Brooke questioned hesitantly. She was grasping at what Haley wanted to hear, but the truth was that she was still pretty excited about the whole idea.

"Brooke, how could you?" Haley questioned as her demeanor deflated. All anger seemed to have evaporated and what Haley truly felt was shining through: She was scared. Brooke cursed at herself for not noticing it before. Haley's shoulders sloughed, eyes searching for something. Anything. Like she was a kid who was about to get thrown into the ocean, without as much as a lifebelt for support.

Okay, now she felt bad. It was never supposed to be like this. She imagined it to be this amazing adventure, a fairy tale, where the two of them would win the competition and live happily ever after with each their Scott brother.

And if that didn't happen, she just figured that their chances would be better if they both applied. Okay, truthfully, she thought knew her own chances of winning, or at least seeing the Scott-brothers, would be greater.

She knew Haley would never go along with it, so Brooke just entered for the both of them. No harm done, right?

Apparently she was wrong.

Haley looked like she could have a panic attack at any second, as Brooke told her what she did. Haley tried to calm her breath: Taking them deep and steady as she sat on Brooke's bed.

"How in the world did you think this was a good idea? It goes against everything, I asked you to do". Haley stopped herself from saying anything else, but the underlining of it all was clear… _you ruined everything…._

**_~…~_**

_3 episodes in 3 days?! I'm on a roll :D_


	18. Episode 15: Fatique

**_~…~_**

**Can't be Anyone else**

**writer: TooWeirdTooFunction **

**S01E15**

**Episode: Fatigue **

* * *

**Well, I couldn't tell you, why she felt that way.**

**She felt it every day.**

**And I couldn't help her, I just watched her make the same mistakes again**

* * *

Haley walked down the quite streets. The air was cool and refreshing, as it made her hair dance around her.

She took in a deep calming breath. She was feeling so many things at this moment, it was hard to keep track of them all. She was angry.. Maybe at Brooke, or the whole situation… but mostly she was angry at herself for letting it affect her so much. She felt like a drama queen, like a bitch, like she was blowing everything out of proportion and taking it out on her friend. The worst part was that she knew she was doing it, but just couldn't stop again.

She had hurt Brooke tonight. She had seen it so clearly: The way she looked - she was so remorseful. But the truth was, that non of this was Brookes fault. This was all her. All Haley.

Okay, so it kind of sucked that Brooke had entered her into the competition, especially since she asked her not too! But why was this competition such a problem? Because of Haley and her own issues, which had nothing to do with Brooke.

Argh, it was just so frustrating, that she couldn't just let go of everything. But she couldn't - no matter how hard she tried, it was always there luring in her subconscious, telling her to watch out. It was like it was super-glued to her brain!

* * *

**What's wrong, what's wrong now?  
Too many, too many problems. Don't know where she belongs. **

**Where she belongs**

* * *

Haley felt a chill come over her. She sighed as she crossed her arms tight over her body, to keep a bit warmer. The darkness of the night was slowly overpowering the remaining light. Luckily she wasn't too far from her house now.

Brooke and her had talked things through, and Haley had forgiven her. Of course she had forgiven her. She was her friend, her best friend, and Haley knew she would never do something intentional to hurt her.

No Brooke wasn't the problem, it was this whole situation. It was the competition. It was school. It was the students. It was her past.

It was her.

She just really needed someone to talk to. She didn't know how to deal with it all. Haley felt the fatigue deep in her bones. Everything was too much right now. She wished she had an off button… or at least a stand-by button!

A Georg Büchner quote suddenly same to mind: "_ And for tired eyes every light is too bright, and for tired lips every breath too heavy, and for tired ears every word too much."… _this was true for Haley at the moment. Even her own thoughts were too much.

_That's weird! _Haley thought to herself as her house came into view. The lights were on, and she was sure she hadn't left them like that.

Worry was the first thing that came to mind, as she cautiously stepped closer.

_Is someone robbing my house?_

Her heart started to beat a little faster… But this time it wasn't because of fear: It was for joy. As she walked closer she could see an all too familiar silhouette lingering in the kitchen: Her mom.

Haley smiled happily. It felt like forever since she had seen her mom. She had been so busy working lately, that they never really saw each other anymore. It was weird and hard transition: To go from being home schooled and always being with her mom, to suddenly not seeing her at all.

Haley became giddy as a wave of relief rushed through her. She tried to contain her smile by biting her bottom lip. Her eyes shone with bliss.

She ran the last few steps down her driveway and to her door. She opened the door quickly and barely made it inside before excitingly shouting out:

"MOM?"

"In here Honey". Her mother called back.

Haley quickly kicked of her shoes, threw off her jacket, and headed towards the comforting voice.

There she was.

She had her back turned to her, but the frame was unmistakably her mom: She had her worn down jeans on, her dark green sweater and her medium blond her hang loosely as it almost reach her shoulders.

Lydia James barely managed to turn around before she was pulled into a bone crushing hug.

Haley was enveloped in the familiar floral sent, that always surrounded her mom.

Lydia giggled warmly as she returned the hug.

"Well, I missed you too, Haley-Bob" she said, as she kissed the top of her head.

Haley let the familiarity of her mother's warm hug embrace her. She felt more calm and more safe than she had in a long time.

"What has gotten into you?" Lydia giggled amused, as Haley finally and slowly, began move back from the embrace.

Haley slowly exhaled as she answered: "I missed you".

Simply and truly.

But she didn't dare to look up at her mother - kind of embarrassed by her so rash display of affection. Her mother didn't seem to notice - or she didn't care - she instead giggled once more and stroked Haley's cheek quickly before turning around.

"Are you hungry? I could make you a snack if you want?" she asked over her shoulder. Haley's smile increased - her mother always had a habit of making too snacks.

When Haley didn't answer right away, Lydia turned around to face her daughter.

Haley's eyes widened at the sight before her. Her mother who had always been a spitfire, who always had energy… often too much of it… now stood before her as a mere shadow of herself: Her green eyes which usually shone brightly, was now dull and glassy. Dark circles surrounded them like snares.

Fatigue. It was the only word suitable to describe her mother's disheveled appearance. She had used the word to describe herself earlier that night… well truth was she wasn't even close, not compared to her mother.

"I know, I'm sorry I haven't had time to make dinner" Her mother replied apologetically, as she misinterpreted Haley's silence.

"…a meeting ran long" she explained further as she scurried around the room, finding different ingredients.

Haley blinked a few times, before finally being able to reply.

"It's okay mom. I'm not that hungry anyways" She said while ignoring her stomach's grumble in protest. She took her small hand and put it on her mother's shoulder, to stall her from her frantic motions. Her mother turned around and looked at her doubtfully.

"Really" Haley said confirmingly while looking into her mother's tires eyes. She smiled a little uncertainly, unsure if her mother would be able to see through her fib like she usually did.

They stared at each other for another while, which made Haley even more nervous.

"Okay" her mother finally agreed, as she but down the kitchen knife she had been holding in her hand. Her shoulders sloughed in… relief? Haley wasn't sure.

_Huh, this is a first! She really must be tired! _Haley concluded slightly baffled, but non the less relived that her mother had believed her.

Lydia walked past Haley, and over to the dinner table. She pulled out the chair. It scraped against the floor loudly, as Lydia didn't even the energy to lift it.

She sat down with a loud thump, and sighed as she rubbed her eyes.

"Rough day?" Haley asked concerned.

"Rough month!" Lydia answered but giggled none the less, clearly trying to not make a big deal of it. Her voice slightly cracked with exhaustion as she spoke.

Why hadn't she noticed it before? Haley cursed at herself for not seeing it.

Haley poured a cup of freshly made coffee, and put it in front of her mother. She smiled gratefully, as she took it. She let the warm liquid soothe her aging body.

Haley took a seat opposite her.

"What happened?" Haley inquired.

The question should have been: What hasn't happened?! When Lydia first got started there was no stopping her - she had truly had a crap couple of month. What Haley had been through was nothing but teenage drama in comparison.

There had been cut backs, which meant more work.

There had been illnesses, which meant more work.

There had been an lazy asshole of a boss (not her mother's choice of word) - which meant more work.

Suddenly her mother couldn't work in her own paste as she was used to. People, colleagues and clients depended on her. Haley depended on her. She had mortgage and bills to pay.

And the latest was that her boss wanted her to travel around to meet clients all over. When she had explained that she was a single parent, and that she couldn't just leave her daughter - her boss had merely mentioned that it was a shame and that there soon would be cut-backs again! He basically threatened her -which caused Haley to rephrase him, to being an asshole!

Haley fumed. He couldn't just treat people like that - let alone her mother.

"I'm sorry honey. I don't want to leave you, but…" her mother trailed of without finishing her sentence. She clearly felt guilty and ashamed. She was supposed to be the mother. She was supposed to take care of things. She was supposed to take care of her daughter. And now the only way to take care of her daughter, was to leave her?

She didn't want to, but what choice did she have?

"It's okay, I understand." Haley said immediately, while reaching over and giving her mother's hand a reassuring squeeze. Lydia didn't need to finish her sentence, Haley understood perfectly: They needed the money.

"I can manage, don't worry about it"

Lydia smiled back gratefully while squeezing Haley's hand right back.

"What would I do without you, my kind beautiful daughter"

Haley shrugged off the compliment, but smiled back at her mother.

Lydia commented that she probably wouldn't even travel that much. That it wouldn't be that bad. That she would be home before she would even notice she was gone.

"… So no throwing parties! Or having sleepovers with boys!"

"Mom!" Haley exclaimed embarrassed.

She knew her mother was just trying down play the whole thing, with a bit of humor. But the truth was, that they both knew it was going to be excruciatingly hard to be away from each other after all these years.

Haley already had one parent leave her… She shrugged of the thought as quickly as it came. It wasn't the same, she knew that.

It wasn't the same.

"Look at me jabbing away!" her mother disrupted her thoughts. "What about you? We haven't had a chance to talk - how's school? Did anything interesting happen?" Lydia asked.

Haley answered while smiling convincingly:

"No, nothing has happened. Nothing at all"

* * *

**With no place to go - No place to go - To dry her eyes.**  
**Broken inside.**

**Her feelings she hides. Her dreams she can't find. She's losing her mind. She's falling behind**

**She can't find her place. She's losing her faith. She's falling from grace. She's all over the place.**

**She wants to go home… But nobody's home**


	19. Episode 16: BSFFEAE

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01E16**

**Episode: BSFFEAE**

The first day of school is always though. Everything seems so chaotic. Everything is foreign… and everything is a possible threat (Or opportunity - however you see it).

Yes, the first day of school is always scary. But what Haley didn't expect, was that the fear she felt on her own first day of school, paled in comparison to the fear she had about the Scott-brothers first day of school.

They officially started the school today…. So Haley had been paranoid the entire day! She knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn't help it! She had seen the movie Mean Girl and she kept imagining all the girls turning into these wild animal - and she was the bate.

She knew that that was exactly how the girls would react when they found out who had "stolen" the date with one of their beloved basketball heroes. An exasperated sigh escaped her lips. She never asked for any of this.

She bit her bottom lip nervously as she looked over her shoulder. She had been like this the entire day. It was ridiculous, right? Nothing was going to happen….And she didn't want anything to happen - like she had told Brooke several times. Brooke had this crazy notion that she should go on the date! Haley huffed an annoyed breath at the thought. It was not enough that Brooke had gotten her into this mess, now she wanted her to dig herself even deeper into it. It was like starting a small fire and then put gasoline on it, just to see what would happen. No thank you! There was no way she was getting burned. Not this time.

She wasn't going on the date, and that was final. It's not like they could make her do it, right? It was highly unlikely that the Scott-brothers were going to hunt her down to get the date. They would properly be relieved that they were free from the obligation of going.

She could rationalize all of this. She knew it was highly unlikely. But the fear of them addressing her in public still remained, logical or not. She still remembered the last time they were here: They were just visiting the school before starting. That was the day Brooke ended up in the nurses office! Okay, granted, it wasn't their fault directly - but still. She could still see Brookes lifeless body fall to the floor.. And nobody even reacted. They were too blinded by the spotlight to see a person in need. Now the Scott brothers were going to be there all time, and everyone in their proximity was at risk of getting hurt.

Okay that was an exestuation! But she seriously thought it was going to start a cold war if they decided to talk to her in public. Girls can be vicious, and that was a fact.

Luckily it seemed like they traveled in packs: They were always surrounded by people, who followed them around like puppy dogs - so it wasn't like they could sneak up on her!

This sort of consoled Haley, as she walked down the hall. She could hear if they were coming from several feet away, so she could safely steer away from them. It had worked the entire day, she happily concluded.

She let herself smile a cautious smile, as she walk further down the hallway. Maybe she could really do this. Besides they didn't even know who she was and what she looked like - only a few people did: One of them was the principle, but he didn't seem to care about any of it. He kind of sounded sarcastic when he congratulated her on winning the competition. Then there was Brooke. She definitely wouldn't say anything. She had been unnervingly kind the past couple of days - it was kind of freaking her out a little. Apparently she still felt guilty; even though Haley had told her numerous times that she had forgiven her.

That only left one person who knew about it. About her. But she had already dealt with that so she didn't have to worry. Maybe it was all going to be okay after all?

"HEY BSFFEAE! WAIT!

_Oh no_. She had spoken to soon. As she turned around she saw a girl running towards her. She was wearing light stone washed jeans, and pink top with an open dark pink plaid shirt over. It all fitted her perfectly.

Her big blond hair bounced with every movement.

This couldn't be happening. They had made a deal: They were going to be BSFFEAE's! It stood for Best Secret Friends For Ever And Ever! Yeah Haley, thought it was kind of long and ridiculous too, but the girl looked so hopeful and happy when she had suggested it, that she couldn't make herself say anything. Haley struggled to remember her name: Brittany? Betty? …Bevin? Yeah she was pretty sure it was Bevin.

"Phew, I'm so glad I finally found you. I've been looking for you all over the place!" Bevin said when she reached her. Her slight Texan accent rolled of her tongue with an ease. "Where you hiding from me?" She then asked jokingly, while laughing whole heartedly at her joke. She had no idea how close to the truth it was. Haley laughed nervously along with her, while guiding her to a more secluded corner.

"Hey Bevin" Haley greeted her. "Uh what are you doing here?"

Bevin just looked clueless, like she had no idea what she was referring to.

"I thought we had a deal?" Haley specified.

The realization was clear as Bevin's blue eyes sparkled happily. She leaned a little closer to Haley and whispered:

"Oh I know, that's why I used your code-name BSFFEAE" She winked at her happily. Haley couldn't help but smile back at her despite the situation. She had met Bevin for the first time at the principle office. She too had been the lucky winner of the competition, but unlike Haley she seemed absolutely ecstatic about the idea.

Haley could tell right away that Bevin was one of those ever optimistic people. She seemed to have this child like naivety, that Haley actually quite envied… She was also a little kooky! But hey, who isn't.

"I just wanted to ask you about who you wanted?" Bevin asked mysteriously, while looking around. Her eyes were gleaming with delight, as she really enjoyed the thrill of their "secret meeting".

She continued speaking, when Haley starred back at her confused".. you know, for the HFSD" . It took Haley a second to decipher Bevin's code, but came to the conclusion that it had to be Hot for Scott Date.

"Oh I don't know. As I said before, I don't even think I'm going…"

"Don't you worry, I remember our deal, I won't tell a soul about you. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't stepping on anyone's toes" She looked at Haley uncertainly. Haley realized that Bevin probably wasn't used to having first pick… at anything. She guessed that people would take advantage of Bevin's sweet nature to get what they wanted. Now all Bevin wanted was reassurance that Haley wasn't going to get mad at her because of her pick.

Haley smiled comfortingly at Bevin.

"Take your pick. I won't mind at all. Honest"

Bevin looked at her for the briefest second, but when she saw nothing but honesty in Haley's eyes, she erupted in the biggest most genuine grin. Haley smiled back at her, happy for her happiness.

"Thank you, thank you! I've always had a thing for vanilla flavor, if you know what I mean?"

Haley just nodded, as if she had any idea what that was supposed to mean. Bevin then gave her a quick surprise hug, that Haley awkwardly returned. She had never been much of a hugger.

"Thanks again. See you around BSFFEAE!" Bevin called out as she skipped down the deserted hallway.

Haley shook her head amused as she watched her. She wasn't exactly sure how confident she was in Bevin keeping her secret, but on the other hand she couldn't imagine Bevin hurting a fly.


	20. Episode 17: Let the madness begin

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**by TooWeirdTooFunction**

**S01E17**

**Episode: Let the madness begin**

_**A/N:** Merry christmas everyone. Her is a belated christmas present ;)_

* * *

**"The road of life can only reveal itself as it is traveled; each turn in the road reveals a ****surprise.**** Man's future is hidden."**

* * *

This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be happening!

Haley starred... And kept starring.

_Nope that didn't help! _She concluded as nothing changed. Where was Brooke? She had to help her. She would know what to do.

Haley paced back and forth, like she had done for the last hour or so.

How in the world did this happen? And why? She just couldn't figure it out - it didn't make any sense.

Haley turned around startled as the door to her room suddenly opened.

"Brooke, what the heck? Are you trying to scare me to death? How did you get in?" Haley questioned in rapid fire. She held her hand on her heart, and she could feel it thumping loudly in there.

"WoOw, easy there tiger!" Brooke said and put her hands up in mock surrender, as she slowly entered the door.

"You asked me to come over, remember?" She asked slightly concerned as she took in Haley's jumbled appearance. She looked like she had just been in a wind tunnel: Her loose hair was a tangled mess, her t-shirt was wrinkled, as if she had been twisting the bottom of the shirt nervously. Her eyes… well her eyes was just panicky!

"Why didn't you knock?" Haley asked accusingly.

"I have been knocking for the last minute! Why didn't you answer?" she bit back easily.

Haley's eyes fluttered in confusion. "I didn't hear, sorry." She mumbled, as she once again starred.

Brooke just shrugged, and plopped herself on the bed.

"You're mom let me in", Brooke elaborated. "I thought she was leaving?"

"No first tonight" Haley once again mumbled absentmindedly.

Brooke tilted to see what Haley was staring at. _Her telephone? _Brooke questioned. Haley was rarely seen with a telephone in hand - let alone starring at it.

"Wanna tell me what's so interesting?" Brooke asked as she starred back and forth between the Haley and the object.

Haley jumped in surprise, as if her deep thoughts had made her forget about Brooke's presence.

_Really makes a friend feel loved, _Brooke scowled childishly.

Haley looked at Brooke, as she almost mechanically lifted her phone towards her. A simple text message was on the display:

_Hey Halihma. You haven't contacted me about the date, so I thought I would contact you. How does Friday sound? About 6'sh?_

_- Nathan Scott_

Brookes eyes widened.

"Well this is a surprise!", she stated as she read the message. Her and Haley had just sort of assumed that nothing would happen if they didn't contact them. That assumption had worked well… until now…

"You say that like it's a positive thing?!"

"It can be - if you let it", was Brooke's oddly profound answer (which she probably got from a fortune cookie). Haley just looked at her doubtfully.

"Look, Haley, maybe this really is a sign", she elaborated with full conviction. "You have an opportunity here to be surprised, to take a chance, make a change and break away. You've had a wish come true, that you didn't even wish for! How lucky is that?"

"You're absolutely right Brooke…. I didn't wish for it! In fact, it goes against everything I wished for." Haley said trying to break through Brookes fantasy bobble. This is not a happily ever after story. There are no always and forever's. There is just a girl who wants to live a simple quiet life, without all the drama.

"By the way, don't think that I missed the Kelly Clarkson lyrics you just recited", Haley added.

This made Brooke grin a little apologetically, as she shrugged her shoulders. She then proceeded to sigh.

Haley looked at Brooke who was chewing the inside of her cheek, and looked nervous. Haley half smiled at this.

"Okay, spit it out", Haley commented, after a little time had passed.

"What?" Brooke answered innocently.

"Whatever you are holding back from me, just spit it out. Am I just being ridicous?" Haley questioned, though she already knew the answer.

_Of cause I am. Just stop it, stop it._

"No you're not", Brooke said a little too quickly, but when she looked into Haley's eyes, she knew she already knew the truth. Haley had slumped down her office chair, and all her fight had deflated.

"Look" Brooked started "are you sure all of this is about a simple text?"

This got Haley attention as she sat up a little straighter. "What do you mean?".

"I mean, maybe this has less to do with the text, and more to do with your mother leaving you"

Haley cringed at the wording: _you're mother leaving you._ Just like her father. He was _just_ supposed to travel.

"Maybe" Haley mumbled, as she managed to keep her tears a bay.

Brooke walked determinately towards and grabbed her shoulders. "Look at me", she demanded. "Go down stairs and enjoy your last evening with your mom. Just ignore the text and forget about everything else"

"but…"

"no buts, just go" Brooke said as she pushed Haley out of the office chair she had been sitting in.

When Haley reached the door she turned around and looked gratefully at Brooke. "thank you" she said really heart felt.

"You're welcome Hales", Brooke smiled back.

Haley debated it. Should she ask, or shouldn't she? She bit her lip nervously. It was kind of ridiculous. She was 16 years old, she shouldn't be afraid of being home alone. And she wasn't! She just... didn't _feel_ like being alone.

"Hey Brooke" Haley started cautiously. "Do you think, maybe, if you want to, that you could come over tomorrow? It's just, I have this big house to myself, and well, it would be nice to have someone around. Not that I need it, I mean, it just would be nice", Haley bit her lip, to prevent anymore rambling to get through.

"Sorry Hales, I would love to, but I have this cheerleader-bonding-thing tomorrow"

"Oh, right sure of cause, that's fine. I hope you have a good time"

Haley felt so embarrassed. She knew she shouldn't have asked her. Of cause Brooke would have more important things to do, than to baby-sit her.

She was 16 years old for God's sake! She shouldn't be afraid of being home alone. It was ridiculous.

Ridiculous.

Yet Haley help but whimpered slightly at the thought. She really wished she hadn't seen all these horror movies right about now!

**_~…~_**

"Bye Mom. I'll miss you!" Haley called down the street.

She stood on the grey ordinary sidewalk, waving goodbye to her mom.

The yellow cab disappeared far too quickly. The night had ended far too quickly. And before she knew it she was alone. A chill washed through her.

She looked back at her yellow house. It suddenly seemed much larger than she remembered.

"Guess it's just you and me tonight" she mumbled to the house, which was towering over her.


	21. Episode 18: Alone but not lonely

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**by TooWeird Too Function**

**S01E18**

**Episode: Alone but not lonely**

_**a/n: **__this is just a fun little episode - so i'll post another one right after this! Three chapters in one day?! It's like a mini marathon :P_

* * *

**I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. **

~Henry David Thoreau, "Solitude," Walden, 1854

* * *

Haley had always craved to be alone. Maybe because that's when she felt herself being inspired. When she reflected. When she refueled. But mostly because, she had never felt more alone, than when she was with others. Scratch that, she had never felt more _lonely_, than when she was with others.

People have said that there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely, and Haley was determent to prove that theory right!

Cause now she was alone.

She had been alone before, but never like this. Through many years she lived in the solitude of her room - with the only exception of her mom and Brooke.

Now they were gone too. Well, most of the time anyways!

So far Haley had: Cleaned, baked, read, played WII, eaten, slept… and the day wasn't even over yet.

Her room was dimply lit. The grey sky outside, created a an almost eerie atmosphere. It wasn't cold. It wasn't warm. It just was.

It seemed supernatural…. No, literally like "Supernatural"! The atmosphere was exactly like the TV-show: Dark, mysterious, but oddly magical.

She wished it was filled with two hot brothers too! Hey a girls gotta dream, right?

It was kind of daunting to be alone in the house.. But kind of freeing at the same time! She felt like she could do anything. Kill monsters, create magic.. Or simply.. Sing?

She approached the stereo.

"Hello old friend, we meet again!" she greeted the machinery. She had been banned by her mother to use it - because she apparently was "killing her mother's eardrums" . But now the headphones were out and the CD was in.

A familiar beat came through, and drowned out the silence. Haley nodded her head cautiously along. She looked around, the room - out of habit, more than anything else. She would rather be caught dead, than be caught singing!

She bit her lip excitedly.

There were nobody else.

_You know the bed feels warmer- sleeping here alone.  
You know I dream in color - And do the things I want. _

She sang alone quietly at first. Almost like she was testing her limits. Her hips started to rock slowly from side to side, to the beat of the music.

_What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
Stand a little taller  
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.  
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter  
Footsteps even lighter  
Doesn't mean i'm over cause you're gone_

By the time the song had reached its chorus, Haley had been taken over by the song. To an outsider it must have looked like she had been drunk (or possible possessed) as she sang/yelled the song as loudly as she could while jumping around.

No litteraly, she jumped: From the floor to the bed, down the stairs, up the couch, sliding on the kitchen floor - even jumping down the kitchen table!

_ What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger  
Just me myself and i  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,  
Stand a little taller  
Doesn't mean i'm lonely when i'm alone _

Panting from all the jumping around, she opened her grey cardigan, pulled it of and twirled it around her head a few times - like it was a lasso. She then proceeded to throw it on the floor - making her feel very much like a rockstar.

She revealed her white Beatles t-shirt, which matched her black skinny jeans perfectly. She grabbed a big wooden spoon and pretended it was a mike.

She got really into it, and sang with the attitude of a true diva. In her head she was just like Kelly Clarkson!

_You heard that I was starting over with someone new,  
They told you I was moving on, over you,  
You didn't think that I'd come back, i'd come back swinging  
You try to break me but you see _

The last chorus was coming up, so Haley decided to give it her all (as if she hadn't before). She pulled her elastic band out of her hair. Her ponytail gone. Her hair was free, as it tumbled down past her shoulders.

She whipped her head to the side, which she thought added a dramatic effect. She had seen in it a music video somewhere.

She barely had any breath left in her, as she sang into the "mike".

_ What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
stand a little taller  
doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.  
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter  
Footsteps even lighter  
Doesn't mean I'm over cause your gone.  
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger  
Just me, myself and I  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone  
Thanks to you I got a new thing started  
Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted  
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me  
You know in the end the day I left was just my beginning... in the end...  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
Stand a little taller  
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone_

_When I'm alone _

Haley collapsed and the floor. She hit the soft carpet with a thump. She clutched her hand to her heart, as it raced away with glee.

She started laughing out loud. It made her body shake slightly as the sound seemed to rung through the empty house.

She laid there staring at the ceiling, and felt completely content.

The silence once again took over the room as the song died down.

The room was still dimply lit. The sky outside was still grey. The atmosphere was still kind of eerie.

But it was magical non the less.

She really didn't have to be lonely, just because she was alone. She was sure off this.

In that moment it was completely clear.

_I can do this._


	22. Episode 19: Alone and lonely

**Can't be anyone Else**

**by TooWeirdTooFunction**

**S01E19**

**Episode: alone and lonely**

**A/N:** The last one for today. These next couple of episodes, are probably my favorites so far: Let the drama begin :D

* * *

In that moment it had been clear: She didn't have to be lonely, just because she was alone. Yes, in that solitary moment it was clear. Then one day past. Then another. Then another. And then…well… she realized it was kind of depressing!

* * *

**When they are alone they want to be with others, and when they are with others they want to be alone. After all, human beings are like that.**  
~Gertrude Stein

* * *

She laid on the bed. She didn't know how long she had laid there. She just did. She felt like that was all she had done for the past couple days.

It was nice, peaceful…. But also incredibly boring.

She could enjoy it one moment and hate it the next.

Haley pulled out her telephone, which she fortunately had found again. It had a habit of disappearing.

She dialed the familiar number.

The rushed voice of Brooke sounded: "Hey I can't talk right now"

Haley starred at the phone kind of baffled, "Brooke?"

"Yeah, sorry I'm kind on my way to dinner" she quickly explained.

Haley caught glimpse of her mirror image, as she talked in the phone: Her hair, which she had tide in a bun this morning, was now completely disheveled. It resembled a rebellious haystack more than actual hair. Her sweatshirt still had a ketchup stain from the day before. She was a mess.

_I really need to get out of here._

"You want some company?"

"NO!" Brooke answered a little too quickly. "I mean, it just a.. you know… a cheerleader thing!" She scrambled to find the right words – which should have made Haley more suspicious than it did.

_More bonding? Seriously?!_ It had been like this since Brooke had joined the cheerleading team. How much _bonding_ could a person do? It was starting to sound very creepy!

"Okay, well, call me later then. It's been too long since we've hung out"

"Yeah. Okay, Bye". Click. Haley starred at the phone, as its annoying beep filled the room. Beep. Beep. Beep.

_Well that was rude_. Haley stated with a huff. Guess she should have become used to it by now. It had almost become daily thing: She would ask Brooke to hang out. And Brooke would reject her… because of _bonding_. She shuttered at this.

She knew she was probably just being too clingy, and overanalyzing the rejection(s).

She sighed.

Well at least she could take a long shower, before she had to go to work. A two hour long shower, she stated as she looked at the clock. Well, at least it was something to do.

**_~…~_**

Haley decided to go to work earlier than planned. But it had nothing to do with the fact that she was bored out of her mind. Pfff, no of course not!

At least she could get a bite to eat before her shift started.

Her hair was still wet from the shower. It was tide neatly into a high ponytail. Her skin was no longer wrinkly from the long shower, but felt fresh and light. Free of any trace of makeup, like always. Her brown eyes seemed more alive and awake than it did an hour ago. They shone warmly through the chilly wind. It wasn't going to bother her. In fact it felt kind of refreshing when the wind huffed and puffed her a bit. Like a playful puppy, wanting her to pay attention – wanting her to play. She smiled contently. She was determent that this was going to be a good day. It usually was when she was working at Karen's.

Even when Brooke didn't have time for her, Brooke's mother always had. And not just because she was working for her. Haley had always felt like Karen was a substitute mother. Well, Karen definitely worried just as much as her mother: _Do you eat enough? Are you sure you are okay by yourself? Just call if there's anything you need!_

Sometimes she worried a bit much, but she knew it came from a good place; because she cared- and that she would never take for granted. Karen had even given Haley a few extra shifts. Karen knew they were in a tight spot, so she offered it automatically… maybe because she knew Haley could never get herself to ask for her "charity".

The café came into view: The building was light yellow. It was far from "hip" or "cool", yet it was one of the most sought out café's in Tree Hill (for the older generations that is!). This café was old school, and it just emanated with _warmth_, and a feeling of _home_.

Haley smiled as she got closer. She just stood for a moment outside and took in the moment. Through the window she could see all the different costumers inside. People, strangers all brought together in the same place. It was beautiful… even if it only was food that brought them together!

Old, young, Brooke, and Nathan, all brought together… WAIT! Brooke and Nathan Scott?!

She moved closer to the window to see if she had been mistaken - well she had to be mistaken right?

Wasn't Brooke supposed to be with her cheerleader pals? Had she lied to her? It couldn't be.

But even as her breath fogged up the window she could still see it clearly: Those dimples and emerald eyes. That black hair and those freakishly long legs.

Brooke and Nathan Scott.

Brooke and Nathan Scott?

Brooke and Nathan Scott!


	23. Episode 20: Land of confusion

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01E20**

**Episode: Land of confusion**

**A/N:** _Thank you to the guests that commented on the last ep. Now I don't wanna revieal to much about what suppossed to happen - but hint: You are right ;) I had a very specific idea in my head about this scene - i hope it translated into paper. Enjoy =)_

* * *

**Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive**

~ Walter Scott

* * *

Haley threw herself on her welcoming bed. It was funny, earlier that day she couldn't wait to get off of it! Now it was like a hug from an old friend. She was completely exhausted, and to say she was overwhelmed was an understatement.

She wasn't even sure herself what had happened earlier. She just knew it was a mess: A big, huge, tangled, mess… and of course it was Brookes doing! _Her and her meddling_, Haley scuffed to herself.

She knew Brooke's intentions were good... But if she had anymore "good" intention Haley would have a nervous breakdown!

**_~….~_**

When Haley had discovered Brooke had lied to her, she decided to play a little prank her.

She snuck into the café and put on her apron.

She was going to catch her red handed. Sounds innocently enough, right?

It was… until things took an unexpected turn:

"Hello and welcome to Karen's Café. I will be you waitress today. May I take your order?" Haley asked in a sickingly sweet voice, while starring directly at Brooke.

Brooke's reaction was hilarious: Her eyes literally bulged out of her head! Okay, not literally, but you get what I'm saying.

Her breath hitched, and she looked so panicked. She stared from Nathan Scott to Haley, back and forth, back and forth.

She looked like a fish which had stranded on shore. In fact it looked like she wasn't even breathing.

Haley smirked at her, feeling very pleased with herself.

Why couldn't Brooke just have told her she was going on a date? It's not like she cared anyways. She could go out with whomever. But the fact that she had so blatantly lied to her kind of ticked her of.

She took a moment to look at the infamous Nathan Scott:

His eyes were as blue as Brooke had told her - sapphire blue and beautiful; she had to give him credit for that. His hair was raven black, short and messily styled. He was wearing a casual blue polo shirt, which evidently brought out his eyes. She wasn't sure how much of that was intentionally though.

His legs really were freakishly long! They could barely fit under the table.

One of his dangly, muscular arms reached up as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

_Huh_, he wasn't exactly what she expected. He looked oddly… normal, and boyish... And out of place - Like he didn't really know what to do with himself.

But maybe that had to do with the fact that his date still was acting extremely weird?!

"Uhm, maybe we could order something to drink?"

He asked Brooke, but Brooke just stared at him, still at a loss for words. The staring clearly made him feel uncomfortable as he squirmed in his seat.

"Well, uhm, I'll just have a glass of water, thanks" He said while smiling almost apologetically.

Brooke was still on mute.

Haley tapped her pencil on the notepad, for added effect as they waited for Brooke to finally respond.

Haley eyes shone with amusement. She had really got her good this time.

She looked down and straightened out her apron, hoping it could hide her face a bit. She had to bite down her bottom lip from laughing out loud.

"What do you want to drink Halimah?" Nathan finally asked.

Haley literally froze at the sound of her maiden name: _Halimah?_ Her head shot up and starred at Nathan in complete shocked, but he just looked intently at Brooke. _What the heck?_

"Just water please", Brooke finally answered in the smallest of voices as she sank further down into her seat.

…And that's when things got a little complicated!

**_~…~_**

Haley awkwardly handed the two glasses of water to Nathan Scott and Brooke. It had taken a little longer than it normally would, as she had taken a couple of minutes to gather herself out back.

Why would he call her Halimah? It didn't make any sense… _unless…._

As she handed the water to Brooke she stared into her eyes, and tried to telepathically say: "Get you're but out of that seat and explain yourself!"

To anyone else it properly looked like she was hitting on her, as she stared so intensely into her eyes. Brooke on the other hand knew exactly what Haley was trying to do... but she just chose to deliberately ignore it, as she dodged every glance.

_That little…._

"Halimah?" sounded a questioningly voice.

"Yes?" Haley automatically answered and looked to see a very confused Nathan Scott.

"Uh, I mean… _fresh_! The water is extremely fresh, hehe" Haley amended lamely. Brooke giggled nervously alongside her.

No, nothing weird is going on here, obviously!

"O-kay… good to know" Nathan responded. He looked weirdly between Haley and Brooke, and felt oddly out of the loop.

Poor boy, he did not look like he wanted to be there at all… increasingly so by the minute.

"I was just asking if we should get two extra menus for the others. What do you think Halimah?"

"Sure good idea" Brooke answered in awe. She was literally drooling. She rested her head in her hand and stared at him.

"I'll get them right away"

Haley stomped away.

Seriously? Seriously! She had included more people into this sick joke?

Well, she guessed it could be some cheerleaders, like she had told her earlier. That would mean she hadn't directly lied, which was a good thing, right? On the other hand, cheerleaders were the worst kind to include into to this.

Haley cringed… _that didn't sound judgmental did it? Nah…_ Oh who was she kidding, of cause it did, she scolded herself.

Her small hands clenched the two extra menues, as she reached their table once again.

"Here you go" She said as she handed them over. "Who will be joining you for dinner?" She asked sweetly, but made sure to give Brooke an extra long look.

"Oh, just my brother and his date Bevin" Nathan answered nonchalantly as he glanced over the menu.

_Bevin?As in…_

As if on cue, in came Lucas Scott and Bevin.

…And that's when things got a little more complicated!

**_~…~_**

You know that feeling you get in the gut when something horrible is about to happen. Or when you're in the movie theater just shouting to the character: DON'T GO INTO THAT ROOM! GET OUT OF THERE!

That's the exact same feeling Haley had: She had spun around, as soon as she had heard the entrance bell, as if she knew it was them.

For a moment time stood still. The sound of the doorbell echoed as the bouncing blonde and the other half of the Scott legacy walked in. Her heart pounded so hard, and her mind couldn't really grasp the reality of it. It felt so surreal.

This couldn't be happening – nobody could be this unlucky!

It didn't exactly make it better that Bevin so obviously recognized her, as soon as she stepped in the door. Their eyes locked, and a blatant smile spread across Bevin's face.

_Please don't say anything! Please don't say anything! Please don't say anything! _Haley prayed with all her might.

"Hey, what did we miss?" Lucas Scott asked as they reached the table.

_Oh you have no idea, _Haley thought to herself.

"Hey Bro. Nothing much, we were just about to order something to eat", Nathan responded, as he got op to greet his Lucas with a brotherly hug.

Bevin was still staring at Haley like she had done from the moment she stepped foot into the café. Haley wasn't even sure if she had blinked!

_"Hey, BSFFEAE!"_ Bevin mouthed not so discretely, while waving her hands excitedly and grinning. Haley tried to smile back but it came out more like a grimace, more than anything else. Really she just wanted to rip those hands down, before anyone could see.

"So…" Lucas said as he pulled away from the hug. He looked around and obviously felt some tension in the air: Brooke was just sitting and drooling over both of the boy's now; Bevin was staring at the waitress; the waitres looked like she wanted to bolt, and Nathan… well, he was just looking over the menu 'cause he was starving!

_Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive_

Yes indeed!


	24. Ep 21: When two different worlds collide

**Can't be anyone else**

**S01E21**

**Episode: When two different worlds collide**

**A/N: **_Thank you to the guest, Haley, for your encouraging words. It's always hard to find the line between writing too detailed and it gets boring, and not writing detailed enough and the story becomes sort of… indifferent. So thank you for easing my mind ;) And Thanks to Ima-Believer, naleyjam23, standoutme, xjavierax and K-MAD17 for subbing/favoriting the story =)_

* * *

**Weather is a great metaphor for life – sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, and there's nothing much you can do about it but carry an umbrella.**

~Terri Guillemets

* * *

Haley had just awakened. Actually she wasn't even sure if she had been sleeping. She felt like she had been starring at the ceiling the entire night. Just thinking and rethinking everything, over and over again.

She breathed deeply and coddled further into her warm comforting bed. She pulled the blanket all the way op to her chin.

Everything was a mess. That's pretty much all she could conclude, from all of this!

After she had gotten home, Brooke had come over shortly after.

They had had a full blow out.

It was literally the clashes of two opinions: Brooke, who didn't think what had happened was a big deal – and Haley, who thought it was a huge deal.

It hadn't been pretty.

**_~…~_**

_"Haley I know it looks bad but just listen." Brooke immediately said as she entered the door, holding hands up in surrender._

_Haley swallowed all those words she so desperately wanted to say. She had to bite her lip for extra reassurance._

_She could feel the anger and frustration building up from the entire night._

_She motioned for Brooke to continue._

_"I knew you didn't want to go on the date, so I kind of stole, I mean borrowed, you're phone. I pretended to be you so I could go on the date that you won. I mean, it's actually a perfect cover up when you think about it: I wanted to go on the date, You didn't! It's a win win situation"_

_Haley's mouth turned agape: Unbelievable! How in the world could she be so cavalier about this whole situation?_

_Don't yell at her, don't yell at her. She's your only friend. Don't yell at her…_

_"WHAT the hell where you thinking Brooke?!" Haley yelled!_

_"Haley, nothing happened, relax. We all got what we wanted"_

_"No YOU got what you wanted Brooke!"_

_"NOTHING happened, and nothing is going to happen"_

_"It has already happened Brooke. You stole my identity…"_

_"Well, that's just a little melodramatic don't you think", Brooke scoffed under her breath._

_"... you went directly against what I had asked you to do – again!" Haley continued as if she hadn't heard Brooke._

_"No one will ever know!"_

_"Brooke, you're on the cheerleading team" Haley explained exasperatedly. "How could you possible think that nobody would notice you're sudden change of name?"_

_"Oh" Brooke said_

_"Yeah, oh!" Haley exclaimed. It was obvious Brooke hadn't thought this through._

_"Look, we don't even have the same training schedule as the basketball players, it'll be fine!"_

_"You'll be at every single game they play! Of course they are going to notice"_

**_~…~_**

Brooke had apologized, of course she had. She always did – but she didn't seem to change her behavior, which was one of the most frustrating things. How many times had she meddled with Haley's life? Too many times too count.

Haley had apologized too. She knew she had been harsh. Maybe too harsh? She didn't know anymore. She understood Brooke's intentions – she was just trying to help… in her own way. Maybe she had been overdramatic about the whole situation?

Though they both had apologized, this awkward tension between them didn't seem to go away. She guessed they just both needed time to cool off. But she hated it. It felt like they were drifting further apart than ever.

She knew they would make it. Their friendship was too strong to do otherwise. Right? It was a terrible feeling, feeling so disconnected from your best friend.

She felt cold and abandoned.

Or maybe she just felt cold? Chills ran through her body, even though she was tucked safely under the warm blanket.

She sighed deeply, and managed to force herself to sit up. She yawned deeply, and tears sprang to her eyes.

She rubbed her eyes, hoping the sleep would go away. It didn't.

Haley put on her white bunny slippers, and dragged her feet to the windows. As soon as she pulled away the curtains she was blinded. Her eyes closed automatically. Bright, it was all so bright.

Slowly she squinted her eyes further apart, and was mesmerized by the sight before her.

Suddenly she didn't feel so tired anymore, and a childish glee filled her entire body. She excitedly clapped her hands and giggled.

White, pure snow had covered the entire town – making it look like a winter wonderland. The sun was reflected in the slow making it sparkle like a gatrillion white rubies!

The first snow of the year had arrived.

**_~…~_**

Snowflakes were falling slowly, in their own paste. It made it seem like they wanted the world to slow down as well.

They twirled around in the air - it made it look like they were dancing in the sky, making small pirouettes when gush of wind got a hold of them.

Haley giggled and spun around, loving the fee l of the cool air against her skin. It had been a long time, since she had been this fast to get up. The snow had looked so inviting she just had to get outside. So here she was spinning around in her black, knee-lengthed jacket. Her red gloves and hat protected her against the cold.

Her nose had already turn as red as Rudolphs'!

The town really seemed different and deserted, as the snow covered every inch of it. Haley shook her head – people were missing out because they were afraid of getting a little cold. By the looks of it, barely any people had stepped outside. Only a few footsteps could be seen in the snow. They were soon to disappear, as the snow kept on falling.

_A clean slate, _Haley couldn't help but wonder.

Haley stuck out her tongue, and tried to catch the small snowflakes. She looked like a goof, she felt like a goof, and she loved it. She felt weightless.

Her giggles sounded through the streets, as a snowflake landed directly on her nose.

She whipped it away, and looked around. There really was no one around. She looked excitedly at the snow-covered ground.

She spread out her arms, feeling very Titanic, and let herself fall backwards onto the snow.

_Oumpf. _

She moaned briefly as the sting shot through her. Auch,okay maybe the snow wasn't as deep as she thought it was!

She laughed it off and proceeded to make snow-angels. The cool snow felt nice against her now slightly aching back.

Suddenly she heard a voice coming from down the street, mumbling, to himself.

Haley stared at the snow before her: _Oh this was going to be too easy_.

She quickly molded the perfect snowball; it was a masterpiece if she should say so herself.

She scrambled to her feet, and stood behind the one tiny tree that stood in her backyard,

_I'm James, Haley James._

Adrenaline pumped through her veins, as the man came closer. The snow squeaked beneath his feet with every step he took.

Three, Two, One.

She jumped out from behind the, yelling out her warrior cry, as she shot the snowball: It was her perfect hit right in the temple – almost knocking of his black hat.

She instantly started giggling at the comical sight.

"Argh, what the hell!", the man yelled startled at the sudden cool hit.

Then she noticed the size of the man. _Gulp_. Had he always been this tall? Haley asked herself, as the man now stood before her like a tower.

He took of his hat and brushed away the snow - he immediately turned to glare the giggling girl beside him.

_No, it couldn't be?_ Haley's mouth turned agape: Those freakishly long legs and sapphire blue eyes.

"Oh God, you're Nathan Scott!" Haley concluded mortified. A hand flew up to cover her mouth.

Nathan prepared himself for another crazed fan attack, or possible another snowball to his face. But he was confused as to what the girl did next: She simply apologiesed and asked "please don't sue!"

Then she just sped into, what he presumed to be her house. _Huh._

He relaxed himself again, and looked questioningly at the house.

**~…~**

Haley saw him stare at her house. What was he doing here? Had he found out? It didn't exactly make things better that she had shot him in the head with a snowball!

He started walking towards the house. Her heart rate sped up – what was she supposed to do? Should she just start to admit the whole thing, and apologies? Should she play it cool?

The knock on the door startled her out of her trail of thought.

"I know you're in there, remember" Nathan voice sounded through the door. He sounded… bemused? She took a deep breath and opened the door.

Nathan stared at the tiny girl, woman, before him. She couldn't be much younger than him. She was completely covered in snow – her jacket, hat, hair, even her eyelashes had tiny specks of snow on them.

She looked absolutely terrified. Her big brown doe eyes stared at him, making him loose his trail of thoughts for a moment.

Then he remembered why he was here.

"Uhm, is Halimah home?" He asked. He had hoped his voice had sounded more stern. _This chick just threw a snowball to your face, no reason to play nice_, he scolded himself.

She just stared at him, with even wider eyes, if that was possible.

"This should be her address, look", He said as he waved the address in front of her face, hoping this would snap her out of it.

"She's… not home" she squeaked uncertainly.

"Okay? Well could you give this to her?" he asked as he pulled out a sweater and gave it to her.

Haley quickly recognized it to be Brookes. She must have forgotten it on the date?! Oh she was going to kill Brooke for this!

She smiled uncertainly to Nathan as she answered him shortly with a, "Sure".

"Thanks", he mumbled.

For a fleeting moment it felt like they had a connection as he kept staring at her. He had to force himself to look away, as walked down the pathway. He turned around one last time and shouted out:

"By the way, nice shot!" he smirked teasingly. And then he was gone.


	25. Episode 22: Inter(net)action

**Can't be anyone else**

**by TooWeirdTooFunction**

_**A/N: **__Quick shout out to Myr for reminding me too keep writing! :P_

**S01E22**

**Episode: Internetaction **

* * *

**We live in a world where we are more connected and more divided than ever**

-TooWeirdTooFunction-

* * *

Facebook.

It was a thing that Haley didn't understand. She thought it was a weird phenomenon: It is a place where you are friends with your friends – and "friends" with people who are not your friends! With people you barely know, and don't see or talk too. Yet somehow you end up spending your day staring at their blogs where they rant about feeding their cats and what not.

It sounded weird to her. But then again, when there are 500 million users in the world, you definitely feel a social pressure to sign on! Even if it just was to hear about some stupid cat.

Yes, Haley didn't understand Facebook. She didn't want it. But somehow she had still managed to stare at her Facebook page for the last hour or so.

Why? Because of Brooke.

No wait, she couldn't really blame this on Brooke this time. She had just gotten so used to it by now. No this time it was her own fault.

She had gotten a Facebook account, even though she didn't understand it and want it – talk about hypocrisy!

But you see, Haley had an addiction, a serious, serious addiction. And the only way to get her daily fix was through Facebook. No it wasn't the gossip (cause she could care less), no it wasn't her friends (cause they were non-existing).. no it was powerful thing called… Farmville!

She had been seriously addicted to the game. It was actually starting to worry her. Her mom too, looked at her really weird, when she said she had to go up and plow her fields!

She had geese's and cows, and chased away bears in this game. It was her own little community.

But this time it actually wasn't because of Farmville that she had been staring at the screen. It was because of a single message that had been sent to her inbox.

No one ever sent messages to her. This was actually her first – which made her kind of exited. Like when you are allowed to open you're first gift at Christmas... only to discover it was a pair of rotten socks!

The message was from non-other than Nathan Scott. He kind of seemed to be stalking her. Everywhere she went, there he was: At work, at school, at home, and now even globally.

Granted that he only wrote to see if she had received her jacket… or rather Brooke's jacket. Apparently he didn't trust the chick that had thrown a snowball in his face!

Well, she couldn't really blame him for that. It had definitely not been a highlight of hers.

Haley had been trying to figure out what to write back. She didn't want to sound mean, but she didn't want to sound too nice either. That would only lead him on. She could also choose to not answer at all? Nah, then he would probably just show up at her doorstep again she concluded.

So what should she do?

Haley had a puzzled look on her face as she stared at the screen. Her lips automatically pouted slightly, as she couldn't figure at what to do. The bluish- light from her computer screen illuminated her face, and parts of her room.

She cautiously moved her fingers up it to the keyboard, and slowly tried to write back:

"Hey Nathan…." No that's too personal she mumbled.

"Hey dude…" no that just sounded wrong.

"Yes thank you so much" No Too much gratitude - It sounded like she was flirting with him. Haley sighed exhaustedly as she sunk back into her office chair. That was another problem, with messaging, texting, emailing and what not – everything could be misconstrued.

One time she had written with Brooke – and she texted back the word "fine".

Brooke had immediately written back, that she didn't have to be mad or sarcastic about it if she didn't like it. But Haley had just meant it as she wrote it: It was fine. But Brooke had interpreted it in an entirely different way.

There was also another word that was quite hard to get a grasp on; A small word, seemingly insignificant, yet very tricky and sneaky word. That word is "OK".

So when you write OK, do you mean ok? Or do you mean: "Urgh okayyyyy". Do you see Haley's dilemma?

What if she wrote something, and Nathan Scott would take it the wrong way? Or see it as an invitation for more?

She had to make it crystal clear what she meant. With determination she toke her index finger and wrote three simple letters down: Y-E-S.

Simple, yet affective she concluded happily. But it needed a little something something. She then proceeded to add a smiley-face. But not a winking smiley face – that could definitely be misconstrued.

She looked down on what had taken her an hour to write:

"Yes :)"

It was perfect! Haley smiled relieved and pressed the sent button.

She quickly shut of the computer, and ran as far away from it as possible. As she was about to go down the stairs a familiar scent surrounded the room: _Popcorn?!_

Haley sniffed an extra time, to be sure: It was definitely popcorn that surrounded the room. The smell remembered her of all the times she had been to the circus… and the times she had had a movie night with her mom?

She walked down the stairs and looked into the living room:

There her mom stood. She was putting down a _huge_ bowl of popcorn on the already crowded table: It was filled with snacks, candy, chocolate, chips and more.

Haley stared wide-eyed at the sight before her. When had her mom even returned? Maybe she was dreaming?

When her mother noticed her, she just simply smiled at her.

"Well… are you just gonna stand there and stare, or are you gonna join me for movie night"

It took Haley a minute to register what had been said... and then a huge smile spread across her face as she ran over and jumped down on the couch.

"Bring it on mommy dearest" Haley answered cockily as she stared at the challenge before her: It was going to take all of her strength and will to chow down all the food before her.

Mom and daughter smiled knowingly at each other, and Lydia squeezed Haley's hand. This was going to be a good day.


	26. Episode 23: Change

**Can't be anyone else**

**S01E23**

**Episode: Change**

**A/N: **_Thanks for the reviews and the motivation to keep this story going =) I'm actually really proud about how this episode turned out - and i hope you'll like it as well.. anyways, hope you'll all have a great weekend =)_

* * *

**Every beginning is a consequence - every beginning ends something.**

~Paul Valery

* * *

Change seems to happen so quickly, and it happens all the time... all around us... Things can happen in a split second: A car crash, or a heart attack.

Change can be feared - But change cannot be changed… which was probably why Haley feared it so much!

Yes, things around her had changed as abruptly as the weather. Before she had even time to look around, it had changed from summer, to fall. And now, before she even realized it – winter was knocking on the door. Instead of leaves dancing around her, it was now snowflakes that fell from the sky.

She looked out if her bedroom window: The snow had melted away, only to return again in the dead of night.

She ran her hands through her dark locks of hair and tied it up into a ponytail. She then proceeded to find her red hat and pulled it down; making sure it covered her ears.

Haley knew it was time to leave. It was time to take the same walk that she took every day to school. Haley sighed at the thought as she grabbed her backpack and ran down the stairs.

Her own footsteps sounded too loud in the silent house.

Her mother had left as quickly as she came. But it had been nice. It had been needed. They didn't need to talk, they just sat and enjoyed each other's company in silence – while watching yet another chick flick.

She put on her black coat and immediately felt the warmth surround her. After she had put on her clothes and shoes she ventured outside.

Each step repeated the step before. Left, right, left, right. Marching on to what had become her new life.

The cold air pinched her cheeks. It still huffed and puffed to her like a playful puppy, but she just didn't feel in the mood today.

She reached the school, found her locker, found her books, and went into her class. She took notes, and was the ever perfect student.

The class ended, only to be replaced by yet another one: Math.

The math teacher sent her yet another glare from behind his horn rimmed glasses. He had never quite gotten over the first meeting with her, where she disrupted his precious class. She wanted to roll her eyes at his lame attempts to terrify her.

She had gotten all A's in this class, so she definitely had nothing to prove to him.

That class ended way too slowly in her opinion.

Haley looked to the floor as she reached her locker. She opened it and threw in her math book.

_Stupid Geometry and Trigonometry! _She scoffed.

The sound of commotion came from down the hall.

_Oh great._

She knew what this meant. She quickly hid herself behind the locker door.

As predicted the Scott brothers and their posse came into view.

She didn't know how they could stand be surrounded by so many people all the time. Haley would absolutely hate it; to be so… scrutinized… all the time. To have so many eyes on her would freak her out.

She peeked out from her locker to observe them: Lucas Scott stood rather quietly and leaned up a locker. He wore an overbearing smile, as he heard Nathan Scott tell yet another story about his "rice to fame".

Nathan Scott was loud and cocky as he illustrated how he threw the jump shot that had made the winning goal.

The guy's around him looked at him with admiration as they high-fived each other, and complimented him.

Soon the focus was turned to their next game, and the other guy's began to loudly declare how they were going to kick ass.

Haley watched as Nathan's demeanor changed as the focus was no longer on him. The larger-than-life attitude seemed to evaporate as he stared straightforward.

He seemed oddly like a boy trapped in a man's body.

She couldn't quite dissever the look in his eyes. She just knew that there was something _more._

As if he sensed someone observing him, he started to look around.

Haley quickly ducked behind her locker again. Her heart beat a little faster. She just hoped he hadn't seen her… and that he didn't recognize her if he had.

After a while she dared to quickly look again. They were all laughing again - making everybody around them jealous of their carefreeness.

Nathan seemed to bear the same smirk as before. Maybe it had all been something she had imagined? She shrugged and found the books she needed. As she closed her locker she noticed just how many was observing the pack, just like she had before.

She wanted to laugh at the sight before her. Those girls were too obvious.

That's when she realized she had probably been just like them, just two seconds before.

That thought made her scowl.

.

**~…~**

**.**

School had finally ended, and now she sat in her room once again…. And once again, it was way boring.

She looked to her computer – she had to wait 15 minutes before she could harvest her corn in Farmville. Haley sighed. Unless there was a sudden bear- or snake attack in the game, she had nothing to do but stare for 15 minutes.

She scrambled through some of her papers on her desk; underneath them laid her phone. She picked it up, and briefly wondered if she should text Brooke.

She decided against it, as she knew what the answer would probably be. Her heart ached slightly as she thought about how their friendship seemed to have changed.

It didn't used to be like this. Before she didn't even have to text her, Brooke would just automatically turn up.

Haley forced herself to push her sad thoughts away. It was a good thing, right? Brooke had gotten lots of new friends. She should be happy for her… right?

She looked over to see her beloved guitar standing there in the corner of her room. Music had always been her saving grace.

Haley walked over and picked it up. She sat on the bed and stared out the window, as her fingers strummed knowingly down the strings. Nice, cool, and familiar.

She quietly played a few notes as a song came to mind. She absentmindedly began to sing it, while playing the guitar:

_There's a girl - Who sits under the bleachers  
Just another day eating alone  
And though she smiles - There is something just hiding  
And she can't find a way to relate  
She just goes unnoticed - As the crowd passes by  
And she'll pretend to be busy…. When she just wants to cry._

_Take a little look at the life of miss always invisible_

She allowed the music take her away from her life, from this place, from this town. No matter what happened, she would always have this.

She vaguely heard the computer "pling", which probably meant that she could harvest now!

_And one day, just the same as the last - Just the days been in counting the time  
Came a boy that sat under the bleachers just a little bit further behind..._

She sang the last few lines, before smiling to herself. She carefully sat down the guitar to its rightful corner, and walked to her computer.

_That's weird, _she thought to herself. The crop wasn't even finished yet. She scrolled up the screen only to notice that she had received another private message from Nathan Scott.

She bit her lip. She gazed towards the empty room as she contemplated her next move.

She knew what she _should_ do... and she knew what she _wanted_ to do…

Before she could regret it, she quickly wrote back:

"Hey Nathan…."

.

**~…~**

**.**

So maybe change isn't necessarily a sudden death – but rather a disease which is slowly killing what _used to be_ – to create room for what is _going to be_.

You see, life is about change: Sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's beautiful. And most of the time it is both.

**~…~**

**.**

**.**


	27. Episode 24: Inner sight devine

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01e24**

**Episode: Inner sight divine**

**By TooWeirdTooFunction**

**Authors note: **_I've been away for far too long - so I'll upload a couple of episodes today =) and if you haven't noticed it already i reference a lot of other authors, movies, and songs - so there is a virtual cookie to anyone who can spot them =P_

**Priviously: **_Haley felt lonely and therefore decided to write Nathan back - and we pretty much take of from there:_

* * *

_If I knew you and you knew me,  
If both of us could clearly see,  
And with an inner sight divine,  
The meaning of your heart and mine,  
I'm sure that we would differ less, And clasp our hands in friendliness;  
Our thoughts would pleasantly agree,  
If I knew you and you knew me._

**~Nixon Waterman**

* * *

It was weird…

It was weird that it wasn't weird!

It was weird that it felt so normal!

Haley knew that it should feel anything but normal: That it should feel unnatural – it was to be expected.

Yet here she was staring at her screen, barring an easy smile as she received her newest message from Nathan.

It was strange how _easy_ it had been to talk/write to him… but it was.

She couldn't figure out why he had chosen to write her. She guessed it was because he thought that she looked like Brooke - or was Brooke - or whatever... But Brooke had promised that she had made it very clear to him, that she wanted to be anonymous and that she didn't want anything to do with him in public.

So why would he continue to keep writing her?

_The thrill of the chase?_ Haley had contemplated - Maybe that was it?

But was the chase such a thrill, when there was nothing to show for it? Not a gorgeous Brooke by his side that he had conquered – just a bunch of random messages.

Haley had been cautious at first, afraid it was just a big joke, and all of her personal messages would be spread all over school (with her luck it could happen!).

A week went by. Then another. And nothing had happened. The nagging feeling in the back of her mind still screamed at her "BE CAREFUL!" But there hadn't been any indication that he had wanted to take advantage of her. It had just been random messages about their favorite colors (Nathan's was red, Haley's was black), their favorite food (Nathan's steak, Haley's mac and chees) and other random things like that.

On those lonely days those messages had easily become her highlights which kind of scared her. She didn't want to be depended on anybody – and she didn't depend on anybody. But Nathan… he had become someone who was just _there._

She guessed he felt the same way - That there was someone who just listened: No face, no judgment, just a quiet whisper that it was going to be alright.

Haley grinned as she read the message: Nathan talked about his friend Tim – he really seemed like a character! Apparently he had gotten a tattoo, to quote: "Get some street cred".

Sounded like a good plan, right? Well, maybe not a good plan - but at least not a terrible plan, right?!

WRONG!

He had returned with a tattoo of a _naked baby angel_ which was holding a heart and arrow in his tiny budgie arms.

_"Who does that?"_ Was Nathan's question to her.

Haley laughed out loud as this, as she quickly wrote back:

"_Obviously someone who has been hit with cupids arrows! I always knew there was something funky about those things ;)"_

She continued to write about her mother's embarrassing tattoo of a mustache: It was on the side of her index finger, and when Haley was little she would hold it up over her upper lip and act as if she was her father. She used to love it – now it was just embarrassing!

She quickly read it through... She vaguely was aware that she had broken the role about sending the winking (flirting) smiley face. But it didn't really matter anymore… she was positive that they both knew that it wasn't about that.

She pressed the sent button.

Nathan quickly wrote back:

_"Your mom and Tim sounds oddly alike, haha. You know I never really understood why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day: When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon!" _

Haley once again had to laugh out loud. The sound seemed to echo through-out her empty room.

She couldn't help but explain that the Latin word for Cupid (_cupido) _meant "desire", and that the whole myth about Cupid actually came from Roman mythology.

_"Okay miss smarty pants…"_ Nathan wrote back. And Haley blushed embarrassed – she had a habit of "lecturing" people, as Brooke called it. She didn't mean to – it was just word-vomit that she couldn't stop.

_"…it still doesn't explain why cupid is portrait as a creepy kid with a weapon!"_ Haley read on.

Well, at least it didn't seem to have annoyed Nathan too much about her "word-vomiting"

Haley briefly thought about his question? _Why was cupid a naked baby angel?!_ Yet another one of life's big mystery's!

Her eyebrows furrowed together as she cautiously wrote back her answer: She didn't want to lecture, or sound, well, weird!

_"Shakespeare once wrote 'Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.' – maybe that's why love is portrait as child as well: A Child is innocent, pure, just like love… and he doesn't just see with the eyes"_

The quote made her wonder: How many people really believed that love was beyond the physical anymore? If people believed in the love that Shakespeare described, that love is blind, then why would so many people be obsessed with their appearance?

They shouldn't need it if love was supposed to be_ more._

She wasn't even really sure if she believed that anymore…. It would be completely contradictory to the saying: "love at first _sight_"? Right?

A new message appeared on her computer. She quickly opened it – curios to what Nathan thought of this.

He explained how he though both were important –and it was it was like a song:

_"A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex. Which I totally think is important…"_

Haley couldn't help but roll her eyes at this – he was such a guy.

**_"…_**_But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics: Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magical"_

As Haley read the last part she couldn't help but blink a couple of extra times. _Who was this guy?!_

Her heart beat a little faster, and she felt a little warmer.

She quickly had to rationalize it though, 'cause no guy could be like this in real life. It had to be some sort of pick-up line, which he had used a million of times before. That was the only logical reason Haley found to the sweet, romantic, dorky, and profound answer Nathan had given her.

_"Oh Nathan, you're better than a fortune cookie! :p "_ Haley answered back sarcastically, content on keeping it light from now on.

…But she couldn't help the small genuine smile that still appeared on her lips.

* * *

_If I knew you and you knew me,  
If both of us could clearly see,  
And with an inner sight divine,  
The meaning of your heart and mine,  
I'm sure that we would differ less,  
And clasp our hands in friendliness;  
Our thoughts would pleasantly agree,  
If I knew you and you knew me._

* * *

**~…~**


	28. Episode 25, part 1: The Games we play

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01e25 Part 1**

**Episode: The games we play**

* * *

**Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.  
**~Voltaire

* * *

People are handed different cards in their life's: Different opportunities and setbacks. They are all interfering and playing a part in the life you are going to lead, want to lead, or choose to lead.

You just have to figure out how you're gonna use the cards you've been dealt.

**~…~**

_I'm not a stalker, I'm not a stalker, I'm not a stalker_, Haley kept repeating to herself. And she wasn't! It was just that she had found an interest in watching Nathan. It's not like she followed him around or anything, but when he appeared in the hallways where she was, her eyes always automatically drifted to him.

She had been trying to fight it – she had – but there was something about him that she couldn't figure out:

At times he seemed to be polar opposites – like when she wrote to him he would be sweet, funny, charming, light and profound.

But when she observed him in school he often seemed brass, cocky and of course he would always bare that stupid smirk, when he was around other basketball players or cheerleaders. But ever so often she found him staring lost into space – literally looking like a lost little child.

Haley had wondered if it was something she only had imagined, ´cause no one else seemed to notice.

She peeked up from behind her book, to get another quick look: He was surrounded by people like always. Some girls seemed to have grown more aggressive, as time passed – grapping every chance to caress or touch him.

Haley wanted to gag.

They didn't even know him, so what did they see? Haley guessed she didn't really know him either… not really.

She scrunched her nose confused as she studied him: He was tall, dangly, and almost a bit… awkward… in her opinion. It was kind of sweet.

The rumors and descriptions she had heard about him, did not fit that description at all – he was described more like some sort of Greek God or something. _That_ she couldn't see. He had the black hair and all, but that just seemed like an extreme.

Maybe reality and fantasy had fused a little too closely together?

A buzzing brought her out of her train of thoughts. It made her jump slightly since she had completely forgotten about her phone which was now vibrating in her pocket.

She quickly grabbed it and shushed at it slightly.

A few buttons pushed and a text was on the display. When she read the text it felt like de ja vu, like it had happened before… But wait…. It had happened before! Many times today in fact!

Brooke having a nervous breakdown since it was their first official cheerleading game tonight. She had been begging and pleading, for Haley to come.

Haley rolled her eyes for the millionth time that day, and wrote back:

"N-O"

She defiantly sent the text back. Brooke was crazy if she thought she was going to step into a court full of cheerleaders and creepy stalker fans. Not to mention the whole town was bound to show up. She could already feel the nausea build up, at the thought.

And then there was also the fact that she, Brooke, and Nathan would be in the same proximity again, which was bound to end disastrous: The terrible trio, if you will – like the Bermuda triangle. Something was bound to go down.

She still remembered their last encounter at the café. That was definitely not pleasant.

Now that she was writing with Nathan, pretending to be Brooke, who was pretending to be her – just made it so much more complicated! Besides, she always felt a slight pinch of guild when she saw him. For lying.

Being close to him, made it seem more real.

At home in her room, snuggled up in her blanket and bunny slippers, she could kind of pretend that he was someone else… that she was something else. That it didn't matter. That she wasn't hurting anyone – which she wasn't!

…_yet_…

The nagging guild and the overwhelming amount of people who would be present at the game was enough to make her wanna bolt.

No more public humiliation. _No, thank you._

Her phone buzzed again.

Haley groaned. This was going to be a long day. But Brooke wasn't going to convince her. Not this time – there was no way!

**~…~**


	29. Episode 25, Part 2: The games we play

**Can't be enyone Else**

**S01e25 part 2**

**Episode: The games we play**

**A/N: **Last one for today :) Hope you've enjoyed them :)

* * *

_How the heck did I wind up here?! _

Haley had been asking herself that very same question since the moment she set foot into the gym. She honestly had no idea! Okay… that's not true – she knew very well that her legs had carried her – but why, oh, why?

She dammed Brooke for her powers of persuasion.

She guessed that the defining decider had been Brooke's desperate plea in person: Brooke had been a nervous wreck. She was shaking and rambling, and ecstatic, and frightened to death all at once.

What she needed was a friend.

Haley couldn't turn her back on Brooke, or deny that… no matter how much she wanted to.

This gym was making her feel more than out of place. The crowed buzzed with excitement – chatter and laughter filled the gym like a hot summer air. It felt slightly suffocating.

The color pallet was pretty much every kind of shades of blue: The color of the ravens. It literally looked like a deep blue sea, rumbling and anxiously awaiting.

_Bermuda triangle here we come_, Haley managed to think, as she was boxed in between a middle-aged man. His stomach was flopping out from beneath his raven shirt, which was a number or two too small. Beer reeked from his breath as he shouted out words of encouragement to know one in particular since no one had even made it to the court yet.

To her right a woman in her mid-40's sat clutching her bag closely. With a pencil skirt and silk blouse, she definitely looked as out of place as Haley felt. The woman kept looking around nervously like a scared little mouse. She had to be one of the players moms who had ventured outside the comforts of her home – and she was definitely regretting it by now… much like Haley.

Haley was stuck in between the two of them, and a couple of thousand others! Haley just looked lost and bewildered, as she sat there. She felt claustrophobic and her throat tightened as everything and everyone seemed to grow louder and louder. Why was the air so heavy in there?!

It was unbearable.

She felt herself getting hot and heavy… and not in a good way! Her heart was beating too fast, and the hot heavy air seemed to trap her in.

Luckily the chatter and voices was soon replaced by music: A deep beat sounded through the speakers catching everyone's attention.

People's attention immediately snapped into focus, and roar of excitement was exclaimed. It was like they were at a rock concert instead of a basketball game.

The lights turned down, causing the intensity to rise.

The beat sounding through the speakers was catchy and addictive. A female voice sounded through the speakers – the artist voice echoed through the filled up gym.

**_Sexy den a mutha mutha  
Sexy den a mutha mutha  
Sexy den a mutha mutha  
Sexy den a mutha mutha_**

_What the heck does that even mean? _Haley barely caught herself thinking – before the screams started:

A single spotlight illuminated though the darkness. The cheerleader team ran out like Hollywood stars. They were wearing the shortest kind of skirts – and were pulling it off! The blue raven "top" – if you could call it that – snuggled their different figures perfectly.

**_ Don't lose the key to my heart  
Boy you lust  
Like the devil double drum  
That I bang bang bang _**

They moved in unity – like they literally had some strings attached through each one of them. It was so sleek and sexy, and well-rehearsed. It was really impressive.

Soon Haley was rocking along with the rest of the audience – the ecstatic feel of the room was addictive.

She even thought she saw the woman to her right nodding her head slightly to the music.

Haley caught a look at Brooke who was giving it all on the stage. The fire that Brooke felt came through in her performance. Haley had never seen Brooke so passionate about something before. It could do nothing but make her feel happy and proud as she watched her best friend.

They had the audience up on their feet – and the room was electric and loud! The boy's was hollowing and whistling, the girls were just screaming.

Haley soon recognized some of the moves the cheerleaders made – it was some of the same exact moves Haley and Brooke had come up with in her crammed bedroom, not too long ago.

Haley cheered even louder and grinned broadly at that.

She felt like a proud mamma - which sounded weird since she was best friend and they were the same age!

But she felt like one of them stage moms, in toddler pagans, who were embarrassing themselves by trying to do the same moves as their child.

Luckily she didn't look that out of place as she realized everyone around her was doing their own little moves as well.

**_ We came here to have fun  
Tell 'em we don't care  
Hold me like a shotgun - Hit me everywhere  
We came here to have fun  
So tell 'em we don't care _**

The song ended with a bang! People cheered even louder, if that was possible. The cheerleaders waved enthusiastically to their adoring fans.

Haley cheered and clapped alongside the others, thinking her heart was going to combust with excitement for Brooke. Her whole body felt warm and elated, as a broad smile stretched across her face.

The cheerleaders began to clap in unison, bringing focus back again.

_"Let's go ravens let's go! Let's go ravens let's go! Let's go ravens let's go!"_

The entire gym started to chant along.

Finally the Ravens ran in looking as cocky as ever, with their leaders Nathan and Lucas Scott leading their way.

_Let the games begin_

**~…~**

_Holy Crap!_

Haley kept having to fan herself down: it was so hot in this crowded gym… but that wasn't the reason why Haley felt so hot! A certain raven-haired boy made her feel that way.

Earlier she had explained how she couldn't understand the whole "worshipping-the-Greek-God-Nathan-Thing"... yeah, she totally would take that back now! _Whew, _that boy had some moves. Gone was all the awkwardness she had seen, and in its place a fiery passion was replaced. He looked so at ease and graceful with that simple orange basketball in his hand.

It didn't make it worse that his muscles glistened with sweat, with every move he made!

He was definitely talented and attractive - Everyone could see that. But that wasn't the only reason Haley was all hot and bothered: It was the look in his eyes. She had never seen anyone so passionate and dedicated in her life. The dedication and passion… every girl would dream of being looked at that way… at least Haley did.

The way he seemed to look at Brooke every time he made a shot – kind of put a damper on the mood though… which was probably a good thing!

But it was definitely not good that he kept looking at Brooke! Why was he doing that? Brooke didn't seem to know either, as she had looked around the first couple of times he did it – thinking someone was behind her. As she realized it was her and her alone he was looking at she was quick to send a flirty smile back.

That's when Haley realized that the Bermuda triangle – had suddenly turned into a twosome.

**~…~**

Yes people are handed different cards in life – Nathan and Brooke were definitely the king and queen in this set of cards… and somehow Haley had ended as the odd one out.. the jester… the joker… the joke…

Haley knew by now she had the losing hand. Was there even a possibility of winning in this game called life? Life always seems to have a way of turning the tables.

**~…~**


	30. Episode 26: Building Walls

**Can't be anyone Else**

**S01e26**

**Author: TooWeirdTooFunction**

**Episode: Building walls**

**A/N: **_Sorry for the delay people :) I've been working on finishing another story called "What if" - so I've haven't had a lot of spare time on my hands.. Anyways - hope you enjoy, and good weeked to all of you :D_

* * *

**_"People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges."_**

* * *

Haley had always had a hard time trusting people. Her track record hadn't been the greatest when she had decided to let people in – so her walls had come around her hard and fast.

It was sad that she already was so jaded. Actually she felt like she had been born as a pessimist. An optimistic pessimist – if such a thing exists. Cause even though she had these walls and had these doubts, and mistrusted people – she still believed in fairytales. Or _wanted_ to believe in fairytales.

She was still the kind of person who could get lost in the Disney world – where the good would conquer over the bad.

She still acted and felt like a child in many ways – but at the same time she could also feel like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Her Achilles heel had always been trusting people. Nathan had started to break down that wall… slowly, very slowly! But now it didn't matter anymore. Her walls had resin just as quickly again, all because of a single message:

_"You looked really hot in that cheerleader uniform"_

If it hadn't been so blatantly obvious at the basketball game when he had kept looking at Brooke, it definitely was now. It was like a slap in the face. Nathan didn't want Haley. He never did.

And it's not the way you think: Haley knew that there never was any chance of something romantic between them. But Nathan didn't want her as a friend, as a "buddy", as a pen-pal, or anything.

He wanted Brooke. He had always wanted Brooke.

Haley shook her head sadly as she reread it again: _"You looked really hot in that cheerleader uniform"_ That wasn't her… on so many ways and levels.

She felt a weird sense off pain – which she knew was irrational. She had known all along, that he thought she was Brooke. So why did she have this sense of… _betrayal?_

Maybe it was because he had seemed kind of depended on _her, _and their conversations. Or maybe it was because they had actually started to have some deeper conversation; after they had had the discussion about love, lust and sight, things seemed to have shifted. He had initiated the deeper talks – daring the first steps. It scared Haley at first, but she had still tried to answer as honestly (but vaguely) as possible.

From what she could tell his father was an ass – which he only mentioned in offhand comment, about how he drilled him.

Haley had answered back that her father had left (which she couldn't believe she had let herself open up like that).

There had been no need for either of them to elaborate the issues. They both understood. Or at least she had felt like they had understood each other.

Now she realized that he was probably just trying to butter her up, to get the cheerleader.

Haley felt foolish to have thought otherwise… that maybe, just maybe, he had felt the same kind of connection that she had felt when they were messaging one another.

**~…~**

Brooke had come over to her house, and she now laid sprawled on the bed talking non-stop. It seemed like they had a lot of catching up to do, and Haley enjoyed that they had an opportunity to reconnect… even though she didn't get much of a say in!

Haley studied Brooke as she was animatedly reliving every single moment of the game night: She was gorgeous– model gorgeous without even trying. She was kind, sweet, funny, outgoing – she couldn't blame Nathan for wanting her.

"Brooke, do you like Nathan?" Haley interrupted bluntly. Brooke just looked at her as if she was crazy.

"Yeah, duh! He's so hot!" she then preceded to gush over his hotness, leaving Haley confused if she had even answered the question: Did she like _him, _as a person you know_? _

But either way Nathan wanted Brooke, and Brooke wanted Nathan. The basketball star and the cheerleader.

A perfect match.

They should be allowed to be together... and Haley was the only thing standing in their way.

She was being selfish and she knew it. Granted it wasn't her who had initiated all of this madness – but now it oddly enough seemed like she was to only one hanging on to it! To be honest, it had just felt nice to have something that was just hers. To have something to look forward to when she was alone in the house.

It sounded pathetic, she realized that. In truth it was just random messages, she tried to rationalize.

She sighed and turned to the computer screen. Brooke was still ranting in the background.

Haley moved the mouse over the messages that Nathan had sent and clicked.

_Are you sure you want to delete following messages?_ The computer asked. Haley looked from Brooke, to the computer.

She sighed in defeat, as she quickly clicked the mouse to agree… before she could change her mind.

**~…~**

Haley's walls were as high as ever. She felt silly that she had actually started to open up to Nathan. She knew from the beginning that it had been a joke. She just hadn't realized that it wasn't Nathan who had been doing the pranking, but her: Haley had been the one who had been kidding herself and not the other way around.

**~…~**

It was a natural reaction to have, and there was a truth to what she was feeling. But as Robbie William once sang: There's three versions of this story: Mine, yours… and then the truth.

**~…~**

* * *

**_"People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges."_**

* * *

**~…~**


	31. Episode 27: Kisses and Curses

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01e27**

**Episode: Kisses and Curses**

**Author: TooWeirdTooFunction**

**A/N: **_Tank you Lozza10 and "guest" for your sweet reviews and encouragement:)You guys are right - Without giving too much away about the episode, and can tell you one thing: Things are about to blow up ;)_

**If you enjoy this story – maybe you'll enjoy another one I've just finished called "What if"? Here's a snippet of it:**

**_"_**_There were a lot of "what if's" in my life: What if my mom and dad had stayed together? What if my stepfather wasn't an abusive bastard? What if I - just for once - could be normal? __Feel __normal?_

_But I'm not. That is not my life._

_I laid on the carpet, which was staged on the floor. My head was on his shoulder and I could feel his steady breath and warmth surround me. It was like an ecstasy, a haze, just to lie there with him._

_He was my biggest "what if"."_

**the story can be found on my page :) WELL i won't keep you any longer - hope you'll enjoy the episode =)**

* * *

**A kiss seals two souls for a moment in time**

~Levende Waters

* * *

Haley made an overdramatic entrance into the kitchen, as her hand flew up towards the sky, and a deep breath was taken, before she exclaimed:

_"Do I envy' those jacks that nimble leap_

_To kiss the tender inward of thy hand,_

_Whilst my poor lips, which should that harvest reap,_

_At the wood's boldness by thee blushing stand"_

After she was done with her little theatrical performance Haley fake sniffed and pretended to dry her eyes as she looked expectantly to her mother. Lydia James looked at Haley like she had just fallen down from another planet:

"Honey, you know I love you, but you're kind of strange, kid!" she exclaimed and laughed, while ruffling Haley's hair affectionately.

"_Mom!"_ Haley said half annoyed as she tried to straighten her hair again. She couldn't believe that her mom didn't even recognize those profound words that she had just recited.

"It's not strange you know; it's poetry… and it's romantic" she sighed dreamily as she dropped down into a kitchen chair.

In English class they were learning about Shakespeare, one of the most brilliant poets of all times.

"Honey, that aint romantic – that's just gibberish!" Lydia tried to argue as she automatically started making Haley a sandwich. It was a wonder that Haley hadn't grown fat at this point!

"Mom, Shakespeare is describing how he envies the key's one the piano, because it gets to touch and kiss the woman's fingertips – and how he blushes at the boldness of the keys"

Haley couldn't help but gush at the idea – that a boy could be so sweet, affectionate and profound… but then her mother had to go and break her happy bubble:

"Oh, honey you have a lot to learn about love: It's supposed to be wild, hot and _steamy!_"

As her mom went on about this Haley's face turned more and more into an embarrassed grimace. Why was her mom talking like that?! Nobody's mother should talk to their child like that… unless they wanted to traumatize them!

"… I could tell you some wild stories, whew! You know, when I was younger I was quite the catch – and oh I went on some adventuuures"

"_Mom!"_ Haley tried to stop her, while blushing and feeling absolutely mortified.

"You know your Dad and I really used to get it on, in all kinds of places!"

"Mom! Seriously stop, before I'm left brain-damaged" Haley almost gagged at the idea of her mother having…_coitus_.

"I'm just saying , that if a boy kisses you like you're a piano – you better kick him to the curve!" her mother added as she handed her the now finished sandwich.

Haley had to push the sandwich away from her face as she felt slightly nauseous at this point. Why did her mom have to be so blunt?

It was so like her to say these kinds of things, which both made Haley cringe but also smile as she realized this.

You suppose that Haley should be used to it by now, but there was no getting immune to her mother's "adventures" and stories that she sometimes told… it was just plain wrong.

**~…~**

"HE KISSED ME!"

A frantic looking Brooke burst through the kitchen door, making both Haley and her mother jump in fright. They both looked at her like she was crazy.

"Nathan. Scott. Kissed. Me!" Brooke elaborated, while looking absolutely ecstatic. Her eyes were gleaming with delight and a huge grin was plastered on her face.

Haley's face on the other hand seemed to have dropped. What the heck happened? She quickly shuffled to her feet while dragging Brooke towards the stairs.

"We'll discuss this upstairs", she hissed quietly to Brooke. The last thing she needed was her mother dragged into this madness. Speaking of her mother, she was currently shouting words of encouragement to Brooke as they were heading upstairs. It sounded kind of like: "You go girl!"

_So embarrassing._

"What happened?" Haley asked as soon as she had closed her bedroom door.

She couldn't believe that Nathan had kissed her: Haley had cut of all contact with him since after the basketball game. He had repeatedly tried to reestablish contact her, but she just didn't know what to say anymore. It was all such a big old mess, and as much as she wanted to explain herself to him, it just came out way to ridiculous. What was she supposed to say to him?:

_"Hey, I'm sorry. But I'm not who you think I am – I am actually my friend who is pretending to be me. But she's not me, I mean, you think I'm her – or you think she's me, but she's not! I mean I'm not! You know?!"_

Haley had actually felt bad for him, he had seemed almost… desperate? No, it was ridiculous to think that, she corrected herself. But he sure had been writing to her a lot… without getting any answers back.

She had made it perfectly clear that she had wanted to cut all contact… and now he broke all the rules and kissed Brooke?

Haley couldn't help but feel a little betrayed, and hurt? Which was ridiculous because this was the reason why she had cut off the contact, so that Brooke and Nathan could be together. But Nathan still thought that Brooke was her, or that she was Brooke, which made things really confusing.

She could already feel the headache coming on as she tried to puzzle all of this together.

She looked to Brooke, who still looked like she was on cloud nine.

"It was so romantic" Brooke gushed "I was just standing in the hallway, when all of the sudden he marched right up to me, and then he just grabbed me, and kissed me"

Brooke looked like she was about to swoon at the mere thought of it.

Haley was still confused though: Why in the world would he just march up to her all of the sudden? It didn't make any sense.

She tried to put a smile on her face, tried to be happy for Brooke, but it felt oddly stiff and unnatural.

"Then what happened?" Haley asked, not really sure if she wanted to know the answer. To her surprise though, Brooke seemed to frown at the question.

"I don't know, it was weird" she answered as she plumbed down on the bed.

"What was weird?" Haley asked hesitantly.

"Well… after he had kissed me, he just kind of looked at me funny, and then he mumbled some sort of excuse before he took off"

Well, that was weird Haley agreed. And just like Brooke, she just couldn't understand his sudden actions. Brooke was convinced it was because she had bad breath! But after a lot of sniffing and reassurance, Haley could definitely conclude that that wasn't the case.

Wasn't boy's supposed to be easy to understand? In comparison to girls at least?!

It could be that he just felt like kissing somebody – that was a definite guy thing to want to do, right? But it did seem kind of unlikely though.

No, Haley didn't know why he had decided to kiss Brooke – but what she did know, was that now more than ever she needed to tell him the truth, before things got even messier.

Yes, she had to tell the truth. At least he deserved that. And truth be told, she kind of needed closure for this as well. She just wanted to move on with her life, and away from Nathan, before she would get even more tangled up and hurt in these webs of lies.

**~…~**


	32. Episode 28, Part 1: Carpe Diem

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**S01e28**

**Episode: Carpe diem**

**Part 1**

Review from Lozza101 aka l. bergin 94:

_"Another great chapter... cannot wait for the next! Yay..a big blow up soon to come. About time I say. Poor Haley with Nathan kising Brooke like that. But I think that on some level he realizes that Brooke isn't the girl he's been talking to...that's been Haley so that's why he walked off confused. Poor Nathan... but anyways I've said before brill story and I cannot wait for more. Also Haleys mom was really funny in this chapter… just like in the show. You portrayed her perfectly!"_

**A/N:** Thank you so much to everyone for all of your reviews – especially you** l. bergin94**! I just had to repost your review cause it made me so proud – and you seem to really get what I'm trying to do and say with the story – which is all I really hoped for when starting all of this** c 3**

So this one is dedicated to you!

… and I know it's a short episode **i like cats**. **as my shirt said3****,** but don't worry I'll post another one tomorrow to make it up to you ;)

* * *

**~::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::~**

Haley wanted to live. Not just survive, but truly live. Not just hanging on to life and let it drag her wherever, like she had done in the past. She wanted to grab it, seize it.

Carpe diem my friends. Carpe diem.

This she had in mind this morning when she had entered the school. This was going to be the day; The day where she would finally tell Nathan the truth.

To be honest she had kind of dreaded this day, and his disappointed-, and most likely angry face, when she would tell him that she was the one he had been talking to all along.

Yes, anger was only to be expected. It was understandable. But to be honest, the thing that Haley feared the most, was still the look of disappointment that was bound to be on his face, when he discovered that a mere "peasant" had been writing him. That look would be almost unbearable since she had come to see him as a friend - As much as friend as you can be when you've only been writing to one another. But they had shared stories and truths to each other, and she had opened up to him more than any other through the years.

For many others it wouldn't seem like a big deal, but for Haley it almost seemed extreme. There came a point in her life where solitude was just preferred over human contact.

But today was going to be different! Maybe it was because she had been seeing too much Dr. Phil lately, but she truly wanted to make a change in her life. And the first step to recovery was to cut all unhealthy drama that surrounded her life. Nathan was the first on her list: The web of lies that surrounding him, and her, and Brooke, had been closing in on her like snares. When she finally would tell him the truth, those snares would finally be cut of and she would be able to breathe again.

At least that was her theory.

Only one problem seemed to have emerged: Nathan only seemed to travel in packs! Which seemed odd, because usually only girls seemed to have that mentality. But Nathan and Lucas seemed to draw everybody in like moths to a flame. She had to admit that she could understand it a bit better now, after having seen them in action. There was definitely _something_ about them.

Haley lured once again from behind a locker, while waiting was the group to split up. Her heart was beating just a little too fast as she chanted two simple words again and again: _Carpe diem! Carpe diem! Carpe diem!_

There was no way that she would confront him, when he was surrounded with so many people. Or could she? This was supposed to be a fresh start she reminded herself.

She took a deep, calming breath and prepared herself to walk out from behind her hiding spot.

Just as she was about to take her first hesitant step, the school bell rang loudly – causing commotion in the hall, as student scurried to their class.

If this wasn't a sure sign, then Haley didn't know what was! She gladly took this excuse to practically run to class instead of the confrontation.

Apparently carpe diem was easier said than done!

******~::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::~**


	33. Episode 28, Part 2: Carpe Diem

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**Author: TooWeirdTooFunction**

**S01e28**

**Episode: Carpe diem**

**Part 2:**

* * *

**~:::::::::::::~**

So apparently everything happens for a reason. That's what people say. Haley was starting to think that they were only saying this to make themselves feel better! To her it seemed like random shit just happened! And there is nothing you can do or say to stop it.

...Or in Haley's case, you simply chose not to.

She stood in her doorway, her eyes wide and face beginning to drain of all color as she stared at Brooke. Brooke stood panting outside her doorway and was still out of breath from having as sped over to Haley's house. She had run over there as soon as she had heard the news.

She let Brooke through the door and let the feeling of dread sink as well. Brooke's words kept repeating itself over and over again in her head: _He knows._

How the heck did he know? She sure as hell hadn't told him this morning. She had planned to, but hadn't. And now it didn't matter. All of her intentions, all of her "carpe diems" was thrown out the window.

The only logical sentence that could come from Haley's frantic mind was:

"How?"

Brooke stood before her, looking almost as mortified as she felt. It seemed that Brooke wasn't as upset of the news itself though, but more because she had to be the one passing along the bad news once again.

"Bevin" Brooke almost whispered in answer to Haley's question.

_Of course,_ Haley thought to herself. She was too Texan not to spill the beans!

Haley covered her face with her hands, as tears almost threatened to appear. It was bad enough Nathan found out the truth. But to find it out that way? He deserved better.

She couldn't help the guilt that was twisting inside of her: If only she had told him this morning, than all of this could have been avoided. If she hadn't been such a coward.

"She didn't mean to, it just slipped. She seemed pretty upset about it" Brooke explained, as she saw the turmoil of emotions spread across Haley's face.

"I know" Haley said truthfully. "It wasn't her fault".

She took a look into Brooke's eyes, and saw that guilt had also invaded her mind.

"… And it isn't your fault either" Haley continued, as she placed a hand in her shoulder.

"But if I hadn't entered your name in the competition in the first place, none of this would have happened"

"Stop it! It's not your fault. I could have told him on so many occasions but I chose not to. It's not your fault." Haley said truthfully.

No she could not blame either one of them for something she had done. There was only one person to blame here: Herself.

It seemed that doing nothing, could do so much more harm than actually acting and doing something. She guessed that's why bystanders to a murder could be prosecuted as well!

_It's all my fault._

**~:::::::::::::~**

Haley had wanted for so long, for Nathan to know the truth so that she could move on with her life. But the clean slate that Haley had been hoping for came with a prize. She could only imagine how upset Nathan was. How many questions he would have.

She never wanted it to be like this. And the snares around her neck definitely hadn't loosened.

* * *

**Why must conversions always come so late? Why do people always apologize to corpses? **

~David Brin

* * *

**~:::::::::::::~**

**A/N:** _Dun dun dunnnnn! Let the drama unfould :P I'm so excited for NeXT ep - it's going to be Nathan's episode - and we're going to see his take on all of this :O ;)_


	34. Episode 29: Nathan's Episode

**A/N: **_Thanks for the follows and favorites from lozenge89, senjut97, Payton Cameron Morgan Goode and flowersinthegrass._

_And reviews from Nicole, I like cats. My shirt said3, 94 =D_

_… so I have some good news/bad news situation… I probably won't upload a whole lot these next few weeks. Apparently everybody wants to have vacation (weird right?!) so I have to pick up some extra shifts =/_

_I'm so sorry – you have been so good to me I know… so to make you not kill me! – I have made this chapter extra long ;)_

_Have a great weekend people =) hopefully it won't be too long before we hear from each other again=)_

**Can't be Anyone Else**

**Writer: TooWeirdTooFunction**

**S01e29**

**Episode: Nathan's episode**

* * *

**"Half of life is fucking up - the other half is dealing with it."**

~Henry Rollins

* * *

Trust is a lie. Truth is a lie. Hell, even family is a lie. You never know who a person really is. We may think we do – but we don't. Not really.

They say that our body is a tool of communication. Nathan doesn't believe that.

He believes that it's fake, a disguise. It only tells us lies:

It can make you look happy when you feel sad.

It can make you look tough, though you feel weak.

It can give you big chocolate brown eyes – making you look all honest and innocent – even though you are nothing but a lying bitch.

This is Nathan's episode.

.

**~…~**

**.**

Nathan couldn't believe that he hadn't realized it before. He thought that his BS-radar was better than that. He had plenty of experience using it, that's for sure.

He should have seen it – it was staring him right in the face. Literally! He was looking at Halimahs Facebook profile picture: In the front was the girl he thought to be her. What did Bevin say her name really was? Brooke?

She was smiling hugely at the camera with arms wide outspread. But right behind her sat a girl. _The_ girl. The one that had been responsible for all of this. The one he had been writing too all of this time. The one who had been on a crusade to make him look like a fool.

He zoomed in on the picture. Though she was slightly blurred in the picture, she looked familiar to him. In the beginning he couldn't recall where from. But then it hit him like a ton of brick: The waitress, the chick at the house! She had been there all along?! She probably had been watching the whole thing, laughing her ass of the entire time!

His fists clenched together, and he felt like punching the wall. How could a person do something so messed up?!

His anger clouded his hurt, which he was grateful for. It was easier to be angry, rather than feel. To feel meant that he had to admit to himself, why he felt that way. That she had hurt him: Not because she had lied (well, not only that at least), but because she had made him believe.

She had given him hope. When they had been writing together... he liked that version of himself. He liked how he could open up to her. Now he saw that she was only trying to use him as a ploy, for what, he wasn't sure yet.

He grumbled at the thought.

He looked at the dark haired girl in the picture. How could he have been so stupid? The mere sight of her made him disgusted.

He angrily turned off the computer, grabbed his basketball, and headed outside. He was in desperate need of blowing of some steam.

**~:::::::::::::::::~  
**

The basketball bounced effortlessly through the hoop. The swishing sound it made was almost therapeutic for him. He guessed that growing up with that sound would have that effect.

Nathan wasn't entirely sure how long he had been out there. He didn't really care either. He was done caring!

He sighed loudly. He could still feel the rage slumbering in him, but at least it was a bay for now.

Despite the cold - sweat was dripped from his entire body, as a protest to his ferocious paste.

He pulled up the hem of his sweater to wipe away the sweat from his face. When he pulled it down again, he was met with a pair of familiar emerald eyes, looking transfixed on his abs.

Nathan half rolled his eyes at the sight, and half glared.

"What do you want?" he growled, as he turned his back to her. He couldn't even stand to look at her. She had some nerve showing up here, after what she and her little friend had done.

He grabbed the basketball tightly, only to slam it down into the concrete. The loud thudding of the basketball seemed to break her transfection as she slightly shook her head.

"I wanted to apologies…" Brooke started out, but was interrupted by Nathan's loud sarcastic snort. This girl had some nerve.

"You're sorry?" He said maliciously while wiping around to look her in the eye. She briefly flinched at his cold gaze, but stood firmly in her place. "You conned me! You deliberately lied to my face! And now you're _sorry?!_"

"Look, I get that you're angry but you don't have to be such an ass!" Brooke exclaimed as she could feel her own anger flair up.

Nathan looked at her incredulously: The self-righteousness of this girl was unlivable!

"Oh, I have every right to be an ass right about now! And I highly recommend that you leave. Right. Now" he said through gritted teeth. He clenched his hands into tight fists as he tried to gain some sort of control of his anger, but this chick wasn't making it easy.

It looked like she was willing her own temper down as well as she took a deep breath.

"Look you can be mad at me all you want, but please don't blame Haley. She had nothing to do with this, she was just helping me, and she feels really horrible about how things went down"

Nathan starred at her dumb-foundedly as she rambled: "Who?" Were there any more people in on this sick joke?

"Haley" Brooke repeated but was once again met with his questioning stare. "You know, Halihma? The girl you've been writing with?"

This made things click for him. Upon the mention of her name, his eyes flickered with all kinds of different emotions, before settling once again on pissed off.

"Don't even mention her name. She is even worse that you – and that's saying something!" He tried to jab at her once again, tried to make her leave, tried to scare her. Trying anything to get her to leave, and steer away from where this conversation was heading.

"She had nothing to do with all of this. She didn't even know I was pretending to be her at first…"

"_At first_?! Hah, do you even hear yourself? Even if what you're telling me is true, she still could have told me every single day after she found out. But she didn't" His last word seethed with contempt but also genuine hurt.

"She was protecting me, she…" Brooke tried to defend, but Nathan was done listening to her sorry excuses.

"Look I don't care what kind of excuses you have for your sick joke! I don't care about any of you period, okay?! So just LEAVE!"

Nathan felt like he was on the verge on exploding. His whole body was now trembling and his breath was heavy with anger. This chick really needed to leave or else he didn't know what he would do.

Luckily Brooke seemed to understand that he was serious this time as she merely sighed and turned around to leave.

She looked him in the eyes one last time and said quietly:

"I really am sorry that I hurt you... But you are going to be even more sorry if you let my flaws come between you and Haley. She is not the kind of girl you let go"

And with that she left, leaving no room for Nathan to object.

_So now what?_ Nathan thought to himself. Now he was just alone with his own thoughts and they definitely weren't the best company right now!

Why did she have to come here and confuse him even more? It was easier to say they both were bitches and that was that! But could it really be true that Halihma – Haley – hadn't meant any of it? That she was sorry?

He quickly shook away the thought: It didn't matter if she hadn't meant for it to happen. It had! And nothing she could say or do would change any of it. And if she really was so sorry – then why wasn't she the one at his doorstep begging for his forgiveness?

He let out a frustrated grunt as he slammed the ball down the pavement again. He tried to let the ball – the game – take his worries and thoughts away as it had done so many times before. But it was apparent that it couldn't save him this time - as ball hit nowhere near the hoop when he tried to make the shot. The ball bounced of the board and further into the garden.

_She has even taken basketball away from me?!_ He thought angrily to himself.

He went to get the basketball, when he saw non other than his brother emerge from behind the tree, picking up the ball in front of him.

Nathan paused his movements.

"How long have you been standing there" He questioned.

"Long enough to know what got you so prissy this morning" Lucas said with an easy shrug, as he stepped closer to Nathan. Nathan gave him a mere glare in return.

"You were spying on me?!"

"Relax Nathan. I came out here to talk to you, to ask what was wrong with you, when the cheerleader showed up" Lucas explained calmly, being used to Nathan's outburst. And worse – being able to see through them!

Nathan stance changed a little as he all of the sudden felt totally drained from the day's events.

His hand ran over his tired face, as he mumbled that all girls were bitches!

Lucas chuckled lightly at his brother almost child-like pout - Though he knew this was nothing but funny for Nathan.

"You know…" Lucas started carefully "It's been a long time since I've seen you smile so much, as you have been these past few weeks"

"Don't" Nathan said dejectedly, as he didn't even have the strength to fight anymore.

"Maybe you should give this girl, Haley, a chance?"

Now Lucas was defending her too?! What was with everybody?!

"She lied to me!" Nathan replied logically, as if that was that.

"Sounds to me like she was just trying to help out a friend. Doesn't sound like the worst person to be around" Lucas said once again with his nonchalant shrug. The two brothers starred into each other's eyes. You could tell Nathan struggled with his inner voice.

He then averted gaze before admitting to Lucas, and maybe to himself: "I trusted her". He sounded far more broken that he had wanted to.

"I know. And I know you have dealt with you're fair share of crap Nathan. But maybe, just maybe, she could be the one to change all of that. Are you really willing to risk throwing that away?"

It was true that Lucas had seen his brother happier these last few weeks, than he had been in years. But he also knew his brother well enough to know that his pride had been hurt - that _he_ had been hurt – which usually sent him running for the hills!

"Look, it is your choice Nathan. Just make sure it's not a choice you make out of anger or spite, okay?"

With that Lucas handed Nathan back his basketball and went inside, leaving Nathan once again alone with his thoughts.

.

**~…~**

**.**

What the heck was he doing here? He must have asked himself that question a million times right about now, as he stood in front of the familiar door.

It didn't make any sense. Part of him wanted to bolt and the other part could not for the love of God get himself to move.

It had been a couple of days since the event – and he had expected some sort of reaction… But nothing had happened! Not at school, not anywhere. If they had wanted to humiliate him publicly, they could have easily done so by now – so why hadn't they? Could it really be as Brooke and Lucas had said? That _she_ only had been trying to help out a friend? It sounded unlikely and pathetic… yet here he stood, right in front of her door. Probably right where she wanted him. Yet he didn't move. He couldn't.

So he did the only thing he could do: He knocked on the door.

It wasn't long before he could hear light footsteps from behind the door making his heart rate increase for all the wrong reasons – as he tried to keep his mind focused.

The door swung open and a short girl, woman, stood before him. Her big brown doe eyes changed from dancing with happiness and warmth – to stare at him in a clear state of shock as they widened in surprise. It was clear she hadn't been expecting him there. And to be honest he didn't know himself what the heck he was doing there at Halihma's – Haley's – doorstep.

**~…~**


End file.
